For the most part, they really don't make kitchen tools like they used to. But most importantly, and as evidenced by the following list, they actually just...straight-up don't make most of them anymore. I combed through the always-fascinating r/vintagekitchentoys subreddit to find the most mind-boggling kitchen tools from days of yore, and I've gotta admit, I'd do anything to own a handful of these. Here are the coolest of the bunch:
1.The original cookie gun and pastry decorator, which allowed people to effortlessly pipe out cookie and frosting shapes.
2.The DrinkMaster, which...basically just mixed drinks.
3.This — believe it or not — is a toaster. And I wish they still made them like this.
4.Back when times were simpler, lots of people had a real need for an egg-grader, which weighed each individual egg in a cute little cup and categorized its size appropriately.
5.Food processors looked a lot cooler way back when.
6.And before we had electric hand mixers, we had actual hand mixers that you had to, you know, spin by hand.
7.And speaking of mixers, this one has three beaters. I do not know why, but I very much appreciate the added power.
8.This white and blue porcelain thingamabob adorning a wall is actually a coffee grinder — complete with a metal crank — and I need one ASAP.
9.And for all that coffee: a vintage Sunbeam coffee maker.
10.On the subject of things that used to be wall-mounted: can openers. TBH, Sears really changed the game with this one.
11.My tiny, digital kitchen scale could NEVER compete with this behemoth old-school manual scale.
12.The 1965 Mince-O-Matic, not to be confused with the Dice-O-Matic or the Veg-O-Matic, was basically a glorified juicer.
13.This exhaustive metal, manual grocery list is legitimate proof that times were indeed simpler in the olden days.
14.Behold: a nut grinder.
15.This, too, is a nut grinder.
16.And you probably guessed it...but this is yet another nut grinder. Evidently, people loved nuts in the '60s.
17.Take me back to the era when ovens came with built-in baking cheat sheets, complete with temperatures and time recommendations for just about anything you'd bake.
18.I tried really hard to figure out exactly what this was called, so I can only discern that people referred to it as a "fruit masher," and it was normally used for making jam.
19.50% terrifying, 50% iconic, and 100% just a once-popular vessel for fresh cream.
20.This 60-year-old egg poacher...
21.I realize that juicers still exist...but they do NOT look like this anymore.
22.Nowadays, we have big, stainless steel exhaust hoods in most kitchens. In the '50s, they had these.
23.The "Foley Fork" was actually a pretty common kitchen utensil once upon a time. Fun fact: Julia Child loved it for making mashed potatoes.
24.The Cook 'N' Stir blender did just that. It cooked liquid foods (like soup), stirred them, and was also a literal blender.
25.And last but very much not least: a microwave so old that it's impossible to date.