Owning a home is often viewed as one of the most important milestones in life. Lurking behind the joy and pride that many new homeowners boast about, however, is another reaaally complicated emotion that's not talked about as much: regret. We asked homeowners to get real with us about the regretful moments that made them reminisce over their renting days, and their insights were equal parts surprising and helpful. Here's what they had to say.
Heads up: If you're a homeowner with your own regrets, you can share them in the comments at the end of this post or through this anonymous form.
1. "As an HGTV fan, I bought my first home while thinking how much fun I'd have fixing things up, renovating, and making it my very own. I also follow many designers and flippers on Instagram, and I thought, 'Oh, I can do that.' Needless to say, I was wrong. I hate doing DIY projects and found that my inner perfectionist wreaked havoc on my mental health when elements of the project would go wrong and not look the way that I wanted them to. Those flippers and designers I followed? That's their full-time job. Honest to god, I don't know how anyone 'fixes up' a home in addition to working a 40-hour workweek. If my husband and I had kids?! It'd basically be impossible."
2. "As a renter, I didn't realize how much work my management company and super did to keep nature from destroying my building. As a homeowner, I'm constantly trying to prevent something from wreaking havoc on my house: winter, wind, heavy rains, and so on. Homeownership feels like a game of 'house vs. nature,' and it's exhausting sometimes."
—Anonymous
3. "I own a condo in Miami. Everything was good for a few years, with special assessments here and there, but they were doable. My maintenance fees are currently $529 for a one-bed, one-bath. Here’s the kicker: Because of that condo that fell, some housing laws have become extremely strict. Our building's 40-year recertification is coming up, and I have been slapped with a $1,500 special assessment and an extra $150 special assessment due to increased insurance costs. So, imagine going from paying $529 in maintenance fees to $2,279 per month, not to mention that’s on top of my mortgage. But get this: When we met with the project manager, he said he doesn’t think this $3 million budget will cut it. So, you know, that means another special assessment is on its way."
4. "People don't talk enough about homeownership anxiety. I've been a little anxious my entire life, but after I bought my first apartment in New York City, my anxiety got and stayed so bad that I'm now on an SSRI. I'm not saying this to deter people from owning a home (or to stigmatize anxiety disorders further!), but if you're prone to anxiety, just know that the amazing homeownership moments that make everything worthwhile also come hand-in-hand with stress-inducing moments and anxious thoughts that I've found to be really challenging. I'm petrified that I'll never be able to sell this place or that I'll run into issues that drain my bank accounts. I'm worried that my co-op building will lose its funding all of a sudden, and my home will be worth nothing. Maybe they're not valid fears, but they still keep me up at night. Sometimes, I really think about going back to renting just to alleviate that mental burden."
—George, 32, New York
5. "I love having a reasonable house payment compared with the rents in my area (which have gotten ridiculous), but I do miss the ability to contact the landlord and say, 'This is broken; can you fix it?' Now, when something breaks, I am responsible for fixing it, like when our hot-water heater burst open on a random Tuesday. Sometimes, renting doesn't sound so bad, but there is no equity in renting."
6. "I didn't realize how much patience being a homeowner would require. First of all, you have to get comfortable with the idea that things will go wrong all the time — especially when you least expect it. During my first four years as a homeowner, after renting for 15+ years, I was waiting for that moment when everything would be done, my house would look just the way I wanted it to, and I finally felt at home. That never happened, and I don't think it ever will. I've become a lot more patient over the years and more comfortable with the fact that things will never feel 'perfect,' but I'm not gonna lie; I feel kind of duped into thinking homeownership would feel like this magical life moment. I blame all the home reno shows out there. Perfection doesn't exist!"
—Troy
7. "I didn't research contractors and just hired the first guy who showed up to my house after I posted on Angie's List. It has been over a year, and I have totally given up on fixing my front door — or getting my money back — because of the $3,000 financial hit I took and all the frustration. Because of all the unexpected expenses of owning a house, especially as a single woman, I haven't been able to save any money. I'll need a new roof next year, which will set me back $10–15k, and I have no idea how I will get that much money together. When I rented, I could save tons of money, and I had a healthy savings account. Now, any disaster will end up on my credit card."
8. "When my husband and I bought our first home in our late twenties, we purposely chose a place that was way below what we could afford with our dual income; that was a really fun conversation with our mortgage lender, who kept trying to push us toward more and more expensive properties just to line their own pockets with more cash. For a while, it was amazing, and we had so much money left to save and invest and use for fun things, like trips and gifts and once-in-a-lifetime experiences. Then, my husband got sick, and he's been on disability for a while now. He'll be OK, but on my income alone, we couldn't afford our already low mortgage. We had to sell ASAP. At the time, the market in our area was non-existent, and we struggled to find an actual interested buyer for over a year. We were getting so close to foreclosure, too, before we finally found the buyer who bought our place — and we went back to renting a smaller place month-to-month."
"Moral of the story: You never know what will happen. Your home might not feel like a huge commitment when everything is going right, but as soon as something goes wrong, it can be a money trap that's nearly impossible to get out of. Had we purchased a home at the cost our lender said we could 'comfortably afford,' we would've literally gone bankrupt. My advice is to be extraordinarily conservative."
—Anonymous
9. "I was a lifelong renter — and expected that to continue — until I inherited my parents' 1907 Victorian home. Hey, presto, instant homeowner! There hadn't been any upkeep on it in 20 years. I paid to replace the roof and all the windows, replumb the basement, dig up and replace the sewer line due to tree roots, and was just about to hire someone to freshly tuck-point the foundation when I realized I'd come to hate that poor house. It needed more attention, knowledge, and cash than I could ever hope to possess. I sold it and bought a townhome last year, and I never looked back."
10. "We bought the house we had already rented for 12 years, so we were very familiar with it and felt like we knew what we were getting into. But we also had an amazing landlady who never raised our rent. With a mortgage, we're paying double what it cost us to rent. We joke, 'Same house, twice the price!' That's with a great deal, too; our landlady didn't want to go through the hassle of updating it and listing it. Even buying at a big discount, we're paying so much more now, and we haven't quite seen how that will affect us long-term. It definitely makes me nervous."
11. "We were prepared for renovation hassles, tax and insurance disasters, and even increasing maintenance costs — but we were NOT prepared for how much local markets fluctuate these days — not only in terms of price but buyer interest, too! My wife got the job offer of a lifetime after graduating from her advanced degree program, and we ended up having to move across the country. We were left with our starter home that we couldn't sell for years unless we dropped the price so much that we actually lost money on the house. We ended up renting the place out until we found an interested buyer, and unlike what all those 'real estate investment bros' like to tell you on social media, we didn't get rich off of it. Frankly, we lost money renting our place since we had to hire a property management company to handle in-person things, and our tenant had a knack for breaking everything."
12. "After we bought our house, it became clear that our area has 'hard water.' The kettle was the warning sign, with the limescale deposits clearly visible. Then, our dishwasher broke down...and then our washing machine. Plus, the water pressure was getting weaker and weaker from deposits in the main plumbing. Finally, we had to install a water softening system for about $2,000, plus we needed to fill a tank with salt bags once a month, and that costs about $500 a year. No one EVER mentioned that being a thing we'd have to do!"
—James, 49, New York
13. "There are so many things that the inspection will not catch! The inspector gave a glowing review of the house we bought and said it was in great shape. Day one: We found that the bottom heating element on the oven had broken when the previous owners cleaned it. Day two: We found that the seals on the dishwasher were bad and would cost $300 to repair. Day ten: We found water leaking from the ceiling in our laundry room. The inspector mentioned that there were elevated humidity levels in that bathroom but said it was from someone recently showering in it. Turns out it was from water leaking under the tub every time the shower was used. Day 15: The capacitor goes out on the A/C. Day 20: There's a water leak under the kitchen sink. Thankfully, we had some savings that covered the repairs, but those savings are now pretty much gone. Fingers and toes crossed that no other major repairs come up before we can replenish our savings!"
14. "I regret being a single female in Alabama past what contractors think is a datable age. Professionally, I have in-depth experience in handling millions of dollars of maintenance and construction. Contractors simply cannot comprehend that I can understand home construction and do a lot of it. They just look at me like I'm some type of circus exhibit. It's infuriating. A recent bid to repaint the minimal wood and aluminum on my brick home came in at $45,000! A neighbor for a smaller all-wood home got a bid of $4,000. And they didn't have to listen to the contractor insult them for an hour with belittling comments. Two contractors have actually told me I obviously got my architect-designed home from a man. No, I worked my ass off for 30 years."
—Anonymous, Alabama
15. "The cost of water. When my family and I rented in a city, water was always included in the cost of my rent, so it's not really something I ever thought about. Now, with how expensive our water bill is, you'd think we were filling and draining an Olympic-size pool every single day."
16. "Beware of prior repairs that were actually cover-ups for bigger problems, especially mold originating from water leaks, whether it was a plumbing issue or a weather issue. Often, owners will give the place a fresh coat of paint to cover the mold, but give it another six months, and the mold comes right back through the 'fresh coat,' and now is your problem. Most mold problems, once covered by insurance, have been written out of policy coverage. One piece of advice is to focus on the seller disclosure form (required in many states) for disclosure of any prior water leaks, plumbing issues, and mold. Misrepresentation by the old owner at least gives you recourse."
—John, 68, Texas
17. "My husband and I bought our first house in 2009, and three days later, we were hit with the Christmas Eve snowpocalypse. Our fence was blown apart, our pipes froze, and all of the recovery was an unexpected expense, even with homeowner's insurance. A few years later, we were hit by one of the largest and most destructive tornadoes in history. After rebuilding, including fiasco after fiasco with insurance and contractors, we sold our home, moved into an apartment out of the 'danger zone,' and breathed a sigh of relief that every issue was on the landlord to sort out."
18. "I've been most annoyed with having neighbors that you can't just up and move away from. I bought a country house specifically to avoid HOA authoritarianism dictating how I could live in my own home. It turned out the couple I bought the home from had purchased the lot next door to build on and very specifically created a shared driveway situation. After I cut down a poorly placed tree, the new neighbors decided the driveway was just theirs henceforth and made getting out a complete circus. They just got weird, literally hiding behind bushes and taking photos of me while mowing or hanging out on the privacy-minded back porch. Still, my favorites were the weekend guitar serenades to the stump of the tree I cut down from across the chicken wire fence they put up. These folks made eight years of ownership a downright awful experience. Check your surroundings before you commit to such a significant event!"
19. "I was happy renting and probably would have been happier by continuing to do so, but the place we'd lived in for years lost its property manager, and the new manager decided that repairs were optional. They doubled the rent, too. So, we bought a new-build home in a small town, and the first month was traumatic. A pressure test was done on our drain line before the house was sold, and it was fine! However, the balloon used in said test broke and was left inside the line — literally at the boundary between our property and city property. The very first time I ran the dishwasher, guess where the sewage ended up? Yep, every drain in my home."
—Anonymous
20. "My mistake was asking my girlfriend's stepfather, a contractor, to inspect my soon-to-be first home and guide me through the process. I had zero experience, so it gave me a sense of comfort knowing I had an 'expert' on my side. It was an old 1920s house and needed a lot of work, but he told me not to worry about money. It turned into a complete money pit. There was a lot of mold, termites, and structural problems, and the entire electrical system needed replacing. Pulling up the carpets to reveal the old wood flooring revealed that the previous owners' animals had been peeing on it for years. The eaves leaked, so the house needed a new roof, and when I told insurance, they dropped my policy that came with the mortgage. The bathroom floor and joists were rotten. The single-pane windows were painted shut — and all the paint was lead-based (and like an idiot, I stripped it all back to save the historical character, poisoning myself in the process)."
21. "About three years after moving in, we found out that not only was our house built with faulty pipes, but we had also missed the window for a class action suit to replace them. Over 35 years, we spent tens of thousands of dollars on leaks, repairs, and restoration. I now live in an amazing apartment in a world-famous historic building (that someone else takes care of) and am selling that miserable money pit — couldn't be happier or more grateful!"
22. "We sold our house because we couldn't afford the maintenance, so we downsized. Within a year, that new, 'easier-to-maintain' home needed a furnace replacement, a new water heater, a new roof, oven, and dishwasher, and we had burst pipes under the cement slab foundation. We also had a pest control issue due to insulation. We had to get a loan for nearly $30k for all the repairs. I still want a house because I don't want to be super close to other people, but renting keeps looking better and better."
23. "The cost of A/C maintenance. I have multiple mini-split A/C units, and while I haven't run into any major issues, I had no idea how much it would cost to have the units inspected, cleaned, and serviced each year. If you don't have a trained HVAC technician performing the maintenance, you risk voiding the warranty. You also run the risk of bigger issues with the system down the road that could've been prevented and end up being more costly than the annual maintenance costs."
—Anonymous, 39, Hawaii
24. "Foundations can be so aggravating and costly to fix. We had a sinking slab foundation. We were unaware of it; it did not appear on the inspection, and the previous owners did not disclose it. Over a few years, it had sunk seven inches. It cost us $45,000 to jack up the house before we could sell it and move to another state."
25. And finally: "After selling my second condo and downsizing to a smaller one, I decided that I was much happier as a renter. Between special levies for the pharaoh ants invading the building, the new flooring for the common areas, the new paint in the common areas, and the cost of EVERYTHING in life increasing — which has now increased maintenance fees, too — I was so stressed out that I had a mental breakdown. I ended up having to be off work for three months. During that time, I sold my place and went back to renting. I am now much happier as a renter, and I plan to continue renting until I am dead."
If you're a homeowner reading this post, now's your chance to tell your own story. Tell us what you miss about renting in the comments below — or feel free to share the realities of homeownership that make it all worthwhile to you. If you'd prefer to remain anonymous, you can contribute using this anonymous form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.