1. Gandalf wasn't in the best of moods after being stuck up Isengard for 3 months
2. Crebain are pretty bitchy, even for evil crows
3. If only Gandalf knew how to speak Balrog
4. Treebeard's pet hobbit-eating tree is struggling with the 5:2 diet
5. The Ents are faring better on Dukan
6. Shadowfax is fit. Shadowfax knows it
7. Sauron and co finally realise what's been going on the last 3 films
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