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20 Reasons Why My Dog Is Better Than Your Kid

Try not to lose your minds over all the reasons why my dog is better than your kid. It's not meant to be taken seriously. I am only kidding in fact, and do believe that having a kid is one of the most magical things a human being can do.

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7. Because I Would Never Feed My Dog Directly From My Nipples, While You're Trying To Eat Your Sandwich In A Restaurant.

Sandwich / Via

10. Because Even When My Dog Looks Like A Total Whimp, He's Still Not Allergic To Gluten.

Rosie Rebel

I was totally gonna say "Because My Dog's Not Allergic To Peanut Butter", just for the perverts out there.

20. Crazy Parents Will Say: But Your Dog Will Never Cure Cancer. I Say, "No, But My Dog Will Sniff Out Cancer, The Heroin Trying To Make Its Way Into Your Kid's School, And Also The Bomb On Your Airplane. So In A Way, My Dog Saved Your Life.

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