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20 Reasons Why My Dog Is Better Than Your Kid

Try not to lose your minds over all the reasons why my dog is better than your kid. It's not meant to be taken seriously. I am only kidding in fact, and do believe that having a kid is one of the most magical things a human being can do.

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1. Because My Dog Will Never Fly Away In A Bouncy Castle At Another Dog's Birthday Party.

No seriously, I also laughed when I heard that...
s3-ak.buzzfeed.com / Via youtube.com

No seriously, I also laughed when I heard that...

2. No Kegel Exercises For Me!

3. Because My Dog Will Never Know What Twerking Is...

Rosie Rebel

4. Because You Don't Have To Get Any Shots Before You See My Dog.

Tdap, Flu, and MMR are some of the shots parents have insisted I get before I see their babies. http://www.cdc.gov/features/pertussis/
MMR Shot / Via microbiologyonline.org.uk

Tdap, Flu, and MMR are some of the shots parents have insisted I get before I see their babies. http://www.cdc.gov/features/pertussis/

5. Because I Won't Be Offended When You Can't Make The Pilgrimage To See My Dog.

Traditional Nativity Scene / Via foundavoice.com

6. Because My Dog Will Never Be Diddled By A Priest.

Celibacy Of The Clergy / Via ... search-best-cartoon.com

7. Because I Would Never Feed My Dog Directly From My Nipples, While You're Trying To Eat Your Sandwich In A Restaurant.

http://tundratabloids.com/2013/07/tourists-in-finnish-restaurant-upset-over-mother-breastfeeding-get-management-to-stop-her.html
Sandwich / Via doolittlesfx.com

http://tundratabloids.com/2013/07/tourists-in-finnish-restaurant-upset-over-mother-breastfeeding-get-management-to-stop-her.html

8. Because I'll Never Have To Worry About My Dog's Chocha On The Internet.

9. Because My Dog Understands The Word "No".

magzim.com / Via Tips How To Handle Your Kid's Temper Tantrums

10. Because Even When My Dog Looks Like A Total Whimp, He's Still Not Allergic To Gluten.

I was totally gonna say "Because My Dog's Not Allergic To Peanut Butter", just for the perverts out there.
Rosie Rebel

I was totally gonna say "Because My Dog's Not Allergic To Peanut Butter", just for the perverts out there.

11. Because My Dog Will Never Shoot Another Dog In The Line Of Duty.

Yes I am going to pick that up!
Rosie Rebel

Yes I am going to pick that up!

12. Because There's Nothing Funny About Your Baby Eating With A Fork And A Knife.

13. Because My Social Life Will Never Revolve Around My Dog.

Michael I.

14. Because My Dogs Bacon Face Is Better Than Your Kids.

Rosie Rebel

15. Because I Never Use My Dog As An Excuse To Leave The Party Early.

Phil Rebel

16. Because People With Dogs Live Longer.

17. Because My Dog Can Catch Better Than Your Kid.

Rosie Rebel

18. Because NO ONE Else In The World Is THAT Happy To See You EVERY SINGLE Time You Walk Through The Door!

19. Because My Dog Will Never Grow Up Only To Blame All Of His Problems On Me.

Rosie Rebel

20. Crazy Parents Will Say: But Your Dog Will Never Cure Cancer. I Say, "No, But My Dog Will Sniff Out Cancer, The Heroin Trying To Make Its Way Into Your Kid's School, And Also The Bomb On Your Airplane. So In A Way, My Dog Saved Your Life.

I think someone owes my dog an apology.
Rosie Rebel

I think someone owes my dog an apology.

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