go to content

Definitive Proof That All '90s Girls Should Start Wearing Lip Smackers Again

**Licks lips raw.**

Posted on

Do you remember when Lip Smackers reigned supreme? We all had them. But why exactly? We decided to try them out and see these lip balms held up to our fond memories of them.

Rosa Pasquarella / BuzzFeed

They arrived on a Saturday like any other. Eight beautiful tubes at our disposal. Picking the party-pack hadn't been easy. Most places that sold Lip Smackers only offered their Frozen line or, worse yet — their bacon flavor (seriously...kids these days). So we ended up ordering them online. Lips at the ready, our evaluation and ranking began.

8. Watermelon

BuzzFeed

It really pisses me off that this is the only flavor whose label doesn’t match the actual balm color. I get that watermelons are green on the outside and pink on the inside, but by that logic, the kiwi flavor should come with a brown label. Once on, there is an almost cucumber-like aroma. The watermelon taste is definitely there, but is overpowered by general sweet. It made me feel carsick.

3/10 Smackers

7. Mango

BuzzFeed

I have zero memory of this flavor existing. The mango flavor smells exactly like lip balm from The Body Shop that my big sister had….with a definite after-note of Play-Doh. It’s pleasant. More generally sweet like watermelon, but the Play-Doh scent stuck around.

5/10 Smackers

6. Vanilla

BuzzFeed

This smells exactly like vanilla Tootsie Rolls. Like, I need to know how many ingredients separate the two. It is kinda how I remember baby dolls smelling. It has a slight sunscreen scent to it… even though there is none in it. The vanilla is not over poweringly sweet at all, but there's an aura of wax-taste ruining this one for me.

4/10 Smackers

5. Cotton Candy

BuzzFeed

I could barely smell anything and I was tube-to-nostril close. The cotton candy taste is definitely there, but it is super subtle. Once on, it’s a mix of cookie smell and sticking your face in a box of Nerds.

5/10 Smackers

4. Kiwi

BuzzFeed

This one smells like Runts. Do kiwis really have a smell? They definitely have a taste, but it seems like you’ve gotta get nose-deep in one for an actual smell. Oh well. My tastebuds seemed to remember this one. It’s pretty delightful, but it ain’t kiwi.

6/10 Smackers

3. Strawberry

BuzzFeed

Hell yeah, that’s a strawberry smell! Step aside Chapstick—Bonnie Bell delivers!

I had a strawberry eraser that I got at the book fair that smelled just like this. Never erased shit with that. Once on, the smell remains delightfully strong and it tastes just like my beloved eraser.

7/10 Smackers

1. Tropical Punch

BuzzFeed

First off, I had no idea how rich these things were. I'm kind of wondering why I ever stopped using these gems! It’s like a lick from an angel. Tropical Punch is not overwhelmingly sweet smelling like the other ones. It feels like there’re a beach Barbie out there with hair that smells like this. Wait — no... is this Mr. Bubbles? Because it's definitely not "tropical punch." This is like what dentists think tropical punch smells like. OK — I think I might be going crazy because there's a scent of children's sunscreen to this when I put it on. I don’t know what this is. BUBBLE JUG?! I was overcome by nostalgia, and had to stop.

9/10 Smackers

Overall, we totally understand why every kid loved these so much. The product holds up. It's a lot more fun than the adult lip balm choices we have now and they seem to do just as good of a job. Leave the light on, Bonne, we're coming home.

Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

Dismiss