I was G-chatting with my friend Aly about roller derby the other day, and I got to thinking about just how underrated this sport is. It's not in the mainstream, but it deserves a lot more credit and respect than people give it. Though I'm not sure I am coordinated enough to pull off joining a team, I'd be down to find a roller rink nearby where I can go and watch the action up close and personal. Here are a few reasons why roller derby is a seriously awesome sport:
1. It's one of the few sports dominated by women. GIRL POWER. I bet if roller derby were on the map when the Spice Girls were in their prime, they totally would have joined a league. This is proof that girls can get as down and dirty as hockey or football players.
2. Every position is incredibly badass. There are jammers, pivots, and blockers. The jammers are the ones who speed around the track, the pivots send the jammers flying, and the blockers try to stop the other team's jammer. It gets messy.
3. The helmet covers for jammers are stars and the pivots are stripes. Amurica, f-ck yeah!
4. You get to knock opponents out of bounds. Fight club? Blow off all that steam (as long as its below the shoulders and above mid-thigh). It's actually allowed and encouraged, unlike ice hockey.
5. It attracts all different types of people and brings them together. There are teams that are punk, girly-girls, and third-wave feminist. The melting pot of sports, if you will.
6. Whip It.* Ellen Page, Kristen Wiig, Eve, Drew Barrymore, and Alia Shawkat all in one movie? Enough said.
7. The outfits, or as they call them, "boutfits." Neon socks, tutus, LED lights, glittery short shorts, dragon heads and flaming skates can all be incorporated into your boutfit,, although I don't suggest doing all at once (it may serve as a good distraction to the other team, though).
8. The tournaments: Are You There Blocker? It's Me, Jammer, Night of the Rolling Dead, Knocktoberfest, Spanksgiving. So many puns, and I love them all! This totally beats the Super Bowl or the Stanley Cup.
9. The derby names: Clitty Clitty Bang Bang, Mazel Tov Cocktail, Maiden Hell, Dixon Syder. AND YOU DIDN'T THINK THE PUNS COULD GET ANY BETTER.