My Indian Father’s Commentary During The Oscars

Dads are funny. Indian dads are hilarious. Sometimes, America just doesn’t make sense to them. Here is a recap of my father’s commentary during the 2014 Oscars (please read all of the below with a thick, Indian accent):

1. “Robin Williams is singing?!” - during U2’s performance

my dad thinks Bono did a really good job in Mrs. Doubtfire.

2. “Brad Pitt is just like Amitabh Bachchan, right?”

My dad thinks Amitabh Bachchan got robbed a nomination for Best Actor for his 30 second role in The Great Gatsby.

3. “Where is Jim Carrey?”

Every Indian dad loved Liar Liar. It didn’t stop mine from telling me at a very young age that he expected me to go to law school.

Either way, my dad makes a good point. Where IS Jim Carrey?!

4. “How did the entire film crew of Gravity go to space?”

He also forgot to put on the 3D glasses until half way through the film.

5. “Are the pizzas vegetarian? Julia Roberts is a vegetarian! *big smile* “

My mom likes Julia Roberts because she’s a good actress. My dad really likes vegetarians. Therefore, my dad loves Julia Roberts.

6. “WHOOPIE?!”

My dad was just really excited to see Whoopi Goldberg. No further story on this one.

7. “Why is this lady singing?”

He liked it because singing in movies is something he is a lot more comfortable with. He chuckled when I told him her name was Pink and told me about a cousin he has in India named Pinky. Pinky Malhotra. Awesome.

8. “Let’s watch all of these movies when they come on CD.”

When I corrected him that it was a DVD, he proceeded to say, “CD stands for COMPACT DISC. What does DVD stand for?”

You win this round, sir.

9. “Do they have a party after the Oscars? Where is it?”

It’s unclear why he needed this information, but this is definitely the kind of party he thinks it is.

10. “What is a selfie?”

Oh, please. He knows.

“This is too long- I’m going to sleep.”

He dozed off by the supporting cast awards. Gotta love him.

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