My Indian Father’s Commentary During The Oscars

Dads are funny. Indian dads are hilarious. Sometimes, America just doesn't make sense to them. Here is a recap of my father's commentary during the 2014 Oscars (please read all of the below with a thick, Indian accent):

1. “Robin Williams is singing?!” - during U2’s performance

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my dad thinks Bono did a really good job in Mrs. Doubtfire.

2. “Brad Pitt is just like Amitabh Bachchan, right?”

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My dad thinks Amitabh Bachchan got robbed a nomination for Best Actor for his 30 second role in The Great Gatsby.

3. “Where is Jim Carrey?”

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Every Indian dad loved Liar Liar. It didn’t stop mine from telling me at a very young age that he expected me to go to law school.

Either way, my dad makes a good point. Where IS Jim Carrey?!

4. “How did the entire film crew of Gravity go to space?”

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He also forgot to put on the 3D glasses until half way through the film.

5. “Are the pizzas vegetarian? Julia Roberts is a vegetarian! *big smile*"

My mom likes Julia Roberts because she’s a good actress. My dad really likes vegetarians. Therefore, my dad loves Julia Roberts.

6. “WHOOPIE?!”

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My dad was just really excited to see Whoopi Goldberg. No further story on this one.

7. “Why is this lady singing?”

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He liked it because singing in movies is something he is a lot more comfortable with. He chucked when I told him her name was Pink and told me about a cousin he has in India named Pinky. Pinky Malhotra. Awesome.

8. “Let’s watch all of these movies when they come on CD.”

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When I corrected him that it was a DVD, he proceeded to say, “CD stands for COMPACT DISC. What does DVD stand for?”

You win this round, sir.

9. “Do they have a party after the Oscars? Where is it?”

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It’s unclear why he needed this information, but this is definitely the kind of party he thinks it is.

10. “What is a selfie?”

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Oh, please. He knows.

11. “This is too long- I’m going to sleep.”

He dozed off by the supporting cast awards. Gotta love him.