If Sheryl Sandberg Wrote A Cosmo Sex Column

What would America's resident HBIC have to say to women looking for advice in the bedroom? Would it be inspiring? Would she post it on Facebook? Would she say "lean in"?

Sheryl Sandberg here...

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There's no place more important for equality among partners than in the bedroom, and currently women only represent 50% of sex partners in the country. With this discouraging statistic, it's vital that we ensure that our time in bed is efficient, productive, and stimulating. Most women think they can't be a dominating force during sex, but that's simply a poor outlook and occasionally weak thighs. The following is simply a guide, where the most essential component, besides an erotic Joan Osborne CD, is confidence!

Role Play

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Playing pretend in the bedroom isn't a tired fantasy that only exists in Cameron Diaz rom-coms; it can be a fun and fulling adventure between the sheets. The fantasy doesn't have to exclusively be his though, you can take charge of the scenario and be a powerful female figure that gives you excitement: create chemistry as two-time Nobel laureate Marie Curie! Ich bin naughty as German chancellor Angela Merkel! Get animated as beloved comic strip character Cathy! Play the generous lover as Oprah and ensure that everyone gets an orgasm. Works especially well in group scenarios.

Speak Up!

The bedroom is very similar to the conference room, the doughnuts always run out, and women often go unheard. Don't be afraid to let your partner know what's on your mind. Remind him where your G spot is, and to DVR The Mindy Project.

Add Props!

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Toys like vibrators or Scrabble can add an unexpected twist to your nights in with a lover. My husband and I love to tickle each-other with Facebook stock shares, their light paper quality gives them a pleasing touch to their skin, and their associated mega-fortune reminds me that I could have my husband bought and sold like a Craigslist couch. Depending on the season, try adding some hot and cold elements in the mix, like ice cubes or a branding iron. I prefer a frozen $100 bill.

Create a Sexchedule

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Find a time for sex that works for YOU. Countless studies show that men prefer sex during the day or at night. Remind them that, for once, there's another person involved in their lovemaking. I have my assistant send a sexy-calendar invite to my husband over Outlook. While you have his attention you can add useful information in the invite memo fields. A recent invite said “A night of carnal desires, where I live to please you and you—right after you confirm the nanny and feed the cat—please me!” Don't let an unexpected work event disrupt these quality moments with your significant other. I had my second interview with Google while conceiving my first child.

Mix Work with Pleasure!

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Staying late at the office? Avoiding your kids? Too drunk to drive? Just because you're at work doesn't mean you can't have fun. Often work is more important than family or emotional stability, but that doesn't mean you have to put a pause on your sex life. Find the eroticism in a nice Power Point transition. Find special pet names for each other's intimate areas like “track-pad” “Firefox” or “Non-binding Agreement.” But always make sure to have an appropriate safe word. Just don't use “Zuckerberg,” that one's taken.

Lean in

self explanatory