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Obese Man Dies Attempting To Put On His Socks

Vito A. Fantoculo was your average obese italian man. He enjoyed his couch, he loved his mom, he used to be an alter boy, and he loved his chicken parm heroes. If there's one thing Vito never enjoyed, it was putting on his socks, which ultimately lead to his demise.

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Cops in Staten Island, New York responded to a call after a landlord reported a loud bang coming from her 2nd Floor tenant. Cops responded to the scene to find 45 year old Vito A. Fantoculo on the floor dead of an apparent heart attack.

According to my sources within the NYPD Mr. Fantoculo was found in his bedroom with, a sock dangling from his big toe. Detectives say the socks were ankle socks, and there was no shot they were big enough to fit his giant feet. Cops in Staten Island have reported a recent increase in sudden deaths of obese men, all found to have died while attempting to put on their socks. "There's been numerous times when I have almost blacked out while trying to get my socks on, that's why half the time I just wear slippers" said Christopher Lewis an obese bystander at the scene.

Neighbors of Mr. Fantoculo were shocked to hear the news of his death. Sal Adolina a neighbor of Mr. Fantoculo for over 10 years commented on what a sweet man he was. "He would give you the shirt off his back, but not the meatball off his plate."

Mr. Fantoculo will be buried on Tuesday at St. Mona Lisa Vito Cemetery in Staten Island, all are invited for lunch afterwards. Fresh antipasti with baked clams will be served.

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