Scotland.
The origins of this open-topped pie full of cheesy pasta are unclear, but it's most pleasing to imagine that a clumsy man in a kilt was carrying a pan of macaroni cheese one day, and tripped over an unfinished pie case.
A no-nonsense mince pie often served at football games.
A potato-free meat pasty that can be made with flaky, shortcrust or puff pastry.
Northen Ireland.
Not an actual hand - this is Ireland's answer to the pasty: beef and cabbage in a puff pastry case.
Northern England.
Butter Pie, Lancashire
Also called 'Friday Pie' and 'Catholic Pie', this is basically buttery potato mash in a pastry case, which sounds like the best thing in the world for a hangover.
Wigan Slappy, Lancashire
This is a meat pie served in a bun. It's also known as a 'Wiganburger' and is available in all self-respecting Wigan chip shops.
Pasty Barm, Lancashire
Similar to the Wigan Slappy, this is a bun (sometimes buttered) containing a pasty. Because sometimes two types of carbs just aren't enough.
Foot, Lancashire
Not an actual foot - this is an oval cheese and onion pasty, often made in pairs ('foots').
Growlers, Yorkshire
Pork pies made with cheese.
The Midlands.
Wales.
This is the Welsh answer to the Cornish pasty - but some Welsh people claim that this version, from the 12th century, predates the Cornish 17th century version.
Fresh Welsh cockles cooked with bacon and Caerphilly cheese and sealed under a breadcrumb topping.
Western England / Eastern England.
Fidget Pie, Shropshire/Cambridgeshire
This shortcrust pie is filled with potatoes, cream, ham, and apples and traditionally served to farm workers for bringing in the harvest.
Norfolk Plough Pudding, Norfolk
Plough pudding is a suet crust filled with pork, onion and bacon, and is traditionally served on Plough Monday - the first Monday after Twelfth Night.
Southern England.
Clanger, Bedfordshire
This classic half-sweet, half-savoury pasty is said to be the traditional farmer's packed lunch.
Rasher Pudding, Hampshire
Also known as 'Bacon Jack' and 'Bacon Pudding', this rib-sticking pastry dish is made with bacon, suet and sage.
Lamb's Tail Pie, Kent
In the 18th century, lambs' tails were docked at birth, and were a delicacy in rural Kent. This pie is still served in some traditional pubs.
The staple food of the Cockney man, this is a minced meat pie with mashed potato and parsley sauce, or 'liquor'. Until the late 19th century, the pies were filled with eel from the Thames.
South-West England.
Cornish pasty, Cornwall
The best-known British pasty - filled with beef, swede, potatoes and onion, it's only valid if it's actually made in Cornwall.
Stargazy Pie, Cornwall
Fish baked vertically into a pie so they can stare at the stars. This is served every December 23 in the Cornish village of Mousehole to celebrate the legendary hero, Tom Bawcock, who saved the village from starvation by taking his fishing boat out in a storm.
Full English pasty, Cornwall
Sausages, beans, bacon, fried egg, tomatoes, brown sauce and cheese in a pasty. In case your arteries were so clear that you were feeling a draught.
Squab Pie, Gloucestershire
Squab pie is so elusive that few photographs of it exist in nature, so here's a blurry shot of one before its pastry lid has been added. It's made of lamb chops, onion, sugar, and apples. Charles Dickens once called it 'detestable'.