7. Remove a contact lens from the container and balance it on your fingertip.
Do this WHILE EXPOSING IT TO AS LITTLE CONTACT WITH YOUR BACTERIA-LADEN HANDS AS IS POSSIBLE.
11. Flip the contact lens inside-out and rinse with a little saline solution.
WHILE EXPOSING IT TO AS LITTLE CONTACT WITH YOUR DISGUSTING SAUSAGE-FINGERS AS IS POSSIBLE. It’s tiny. It’s fiddly. You may feel the rage starting to build at this point. Just breathe.
13. Gently lob the contact lens in the direction of your eyeball.
… Concentrate. Concentrate …
21. Frantically claw at your eye in an attempt to remove it.
27. And find your contact lens.