1. Hello! This is a tampon.
2. It goes up your bum.
3. But, don't worry, it feels "good" when you insert a tampon.
Like, good-good.
4. And the different tampon sizes correspond directly to women's height. For instance, that lady on the right is a "super."
5. Also, tampons are like plugs. You insert a tampon to "stop up" your period, and it will all come out when you remove it.
6. Haven't had sex yet? Lucky you. You don't start menstruating until you've had sex for the first time, you see.
7. And after that you only menstruate if you actually had sex that month.
8. But when you do start menstruating, obviously you'll have to go to hospital for a special tampon fitting.
9. But if you don't like tampons, you can always use a sanitary towel instead. FYI, you wear these by sticking the adhesive side to your vagina.
10. Obviously you'll have your period at the exact same time as every other woman on Earth.
11. This period will only come once a year. And it will last for a month.
12. What's a period like? Well, basically it's like peeing blood.
13. And the blood will flow constantly throughout your period.
14. Unfortunately, menstruation makes women so unstable that you will be prevented by law to drive during your period.
15. But, on the plus side, at least menstrual fluid is blue.
16. Periods can be quite stressful. One way to relax is to masturbate — and women do this by stroking their own breasts, like so.
17. When you masturbate, you'll ejaculate eggs the way men ejaculate sperm (don't do it too frequently, though, as you have a finite supply of eggs).
18. Also, while you're masturbating, be careful: Women have been known to lose items like hairbrushes and keys inside their vaginas.
19. Talking of breasts, the reason they're squishy is because they're full of milk.
20. In fact, all women come permanently preloaded with breast milk. For emergencies.
21. And if you touch a woman's nipples — any woman's nipples — milk will come out.
22. While we're on the topic of anatomy, you should probably know that women have one fewer rib than men.
23. And that women urinate from their clitorises.
24. Or is it their bums?
25. Also, you can always tell that a woman is promiscuous, because she'll have large labia minora.
26. But it's not all biology — some of it's also fashion and beauty. For example, dresses and skirts? Same thing.
27. Women only wear underwear when they're trying to be sexy.
28. Unless they want to firm up their buttocks, in which case they wear underpants.
29. Sports bras are called "push-up bras." Because you do push-ups in them!
30. This is a petticoat (a "petite coat").
31. Girls' fringes (or bangs) are hairs that naturally grow that short.
32. Unlike men, women only shave once a month.
33. And, last but not least, being told to smile by a stranger in the street really makes a woman's day!
