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28 Problems Anyone With A Baby-Face Will Relate To

No, I haven't lost my mummy.

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1. People still think that this gesture counts as an appropriate greeting.

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2. Even your coworkers.

3. In fact, everyone at work who doesn't know you just assumes you're the intern.

4. And gets confused if you make a pop culture reference that's more than 12 months old.

5. You still experience The Fear whenever you try to buy something with an age restriction.

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6. When you try to "be sexy" it often goes horribly wrong.

7. You can't laugh without someone going "awww".

8. Every time Alvin and the Chipmunks is shown on TV, you ready yourself for a barrage of comparisons.

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9. People who come to your front door always ask if your parents are home.

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Even if you live alone.

10. You're trying to retire several nicknames that have "baby" in them.

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11. It's not really working.

12. On a good day, you can pass for someone half your age.


13. Which means you can get child tickets on the bus (which is admittedly brilliant).

14. You're constantly being mistaken for pupil or a student. Even when you're a teacher. Or a cop.

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15. Children hit on you.

16. Teenagers condescend to you.

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17. Occasionally very slightly younger people will mistake you for one of them, and you'll play along.

18. But when they move on to the third club of the night, you'll start to flag.

19. You may look like a pre-schooler, but you've got work in the morning, damnit.

20. You dread becoming pregnant in case people think you're 11 and that something has gone terribly wrong.

21. Or hanging out with children in public, in case people mistake you for a babysitter-turned-kidnapper.

22. You've experimented with looking "older" - wearing ties, frowning all the time, calling everyone around you "son".

23. You've even seriously considered a dimplectomy.

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24. But no matter what you do, you only have one look: cute.

25. You have to fight to get people to take you seriously.

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26. Still, at least you know you'll never look truly old.

27. You don't age like normal humans. You're basically Dorian Gray up in here.

28. Although, if you ever discover a self-portrait in your attic, it'll probably be a good idea not to look at it too closely.