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The 18 Stages Of Visiting A Farmers' Market

Ironic Scotch egg, anyone?

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4. You feel so outdoorsy! All the stallholders are smiling at you! And you smile beatifically back at everyone, knowing you're all doing your own little bit to support local producers.


8. Then you actually try to buy a cabbage, and realise that each one is £10. Also the stallholder wants to tell you the entire life story of the cabbage, his cabbage farm, and his very fine beard.


16. Which is just as well, because it slowly dawns on you that, if it's not an expensive vegetable or an artisan baked good, you probably won't be able to find it at this market.

18. And, hating yourself slightly, you actually find yourself looking forward to the self-checkout because it won't tell you all about its beard and ironic Scotch eggs.


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