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23 Things That Happen To You At A British Boarding School

Almost none of these involve discovering that you're a wizard.

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9. You have to learn a whole new vocabulary.

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This differs from school to school, but will probably include 'mufti' (civilian dress) and 'prep' or 'banco' (homework). You probably won't need to worry about 'fagging' unless you're at Eton, though.

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14. Tuck shops. Tuck shops happen to you.

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Yep, there is a sweet shop exclusively for you in the building that you live in. KitKats and Twixes whenever you want them. Welcome to the 1%.

15. You completely lose touch with your favourite TV shows.

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You have to share a TV with 300 other people, what you watch is down to majority rule, and there’s no wifi in the dormitories. Still, that's what school holidays and Netflix are for.

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16. You stare wistfully out of the window as the day pupils go home, coveting their evening plans.

Warner Bros. / Via nitratediva.wordpress.com

"What's like to have an entire bedroom to yourself?" You wonder. "What do they do at the weekends? Laserquest? Is Laserquest still a thing?"

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And finally...