Australians love a beer. Our politicians are no different. But some love beer more than others. This is the definitive ranking of which politicians love beer more than the rest. No correspondence will be entered into.
8. Paul Keating
The classical music-loving, Zengna suit-wearing, watch enthusiast may have a look of lust in his eyes as he reaches for the beer bucket above, but we suspect he's more at home with a nice glass of red.
7. Kevin Rudd
He's Kevin, he's from Queensland and he's here to get pissed. Or is he? We say no.
Like a lot of things Kevin has said recently, this picture has a feeling of hollowness to it which suggests that he tipped this beer into the garden when he thought no one was looking.
6. John Howard
Australia's second-longest serving prime minister is definitely not Australia's second-biggest beer enthusiast. Although we don't doubt his sincerity in this photo, it's just hard to believe that Johnny is regularly putting away a six pack-a-night.
5. Tony Abbott
View this video on YouTube
Australia's current prime minister gets some real points for this effort in May. Surrounded by some very enthusiastic footy players, the PM put away a pale ale in six seconds. However....
He loses massive points for this effort during 2010 election campaign where he ordered a shandy of light beer. *vomits*
This happened during the final stretch of the campaign and, realistically, may have cost Abbott the election. Which was good news for...
4. Julia Gillard
The yin to Tony Abbott's yang. Gillard ordered a Toohey's Old during the same campaign, and, realistically, it probably helped her to (sort of) win the 2010 election.
Still, we're not pretending that Gillard regularly partakes in a Tooheys. She's a white wine kind of person and that is FINE.
3. Andrew Laming
This humble backbencher leapt into the national consciousness on Australia Day 2014, when he was busted skolling an entire beer while upside-down.
Far from a first offence, Laming assured reporters at the time that this is a regular party trick for him, and we have no doubt that this is true. Andrew Laming, we salute you.
2. Albo
Albo was caught out just this weekend chugging a beer at a local charity football match.
When contacted by BuzzFeed News, Albo would only say that "what happens in the locker room, stays in the locker room." Albo, we know this wasn't your first rodeo.
1. Hawkiiiiieeeeeee
This is former prime minister Bob Hawke. As a student at Oxford University he famously broke the record for the quickest chugging of a yard glass at 11 SECONDS.
And up above? That's him skolling a beer at the cricket a few years ago, when he was 82 years old.
He did it just because someone told him to.