-
1. "Naturally my birth almost kills my mother, for my head is too big."
Correct!Wrong!Morrissey.
-
2. "Sadly, I can't say the same for my Father, who is probably in a different place - Hell."
Correct!Wrong!Alan.
-
3. "The human brain comprises 70% water, which means it's a similar consistency to tofu."
Correct!Wrong!Alan.
-
4. "I walk to the shop every day to buy things that I don't need, because I want the owner to still feel relied upon, rain or shine."
Correct!Wrong!Morrissey.
-
5. "St Mary's Secondary Modern School on Renton Road may indeed be secondary, but it is not modern."
Correct!Wrong!Morrissey.
-
6. "Putting a damp spoon back in the bowl is the tea-drinking equivalent of sharing a needle. And I did not want to end up with the tea-drinking equivalent of AIDS."
Correct!Wrong!Alan.
-
-
7. "It was [childhood friend Anthony] who told me the reason why girls fluttered around me, and what it was that they wanted. He told me this because I didn't know, and even when I knew, I was less interested than when I didn't know."
Correct!Wrong!Morrissey.
-
8. "The father, Trevor, was an asthmatic, but what he lacked in being able to breath quietly, he more than made up for with parental skills."
Correct!Wrong!Alan.
-
9. "The doorbell rings and there stands Vanessa Redgrave … [she] then goes on about social injustice in Namibia, and how we must all build a raft by late afternoon — preferably out of coconut matting."
Correct!Wrong!Morrissey.
-
10. "...now I know how Joan of Arc felt."
Correct!Wrong!Morrissey.
-
11. "On the doorstep [she] asks me whether right or left would be the best direction to find a taxi, and although her best bet would be left, I suggest she turns right. It is churlish of me, but it is she who has set the pace."
Correct!Wrong!Morrissey.
-
12. "Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit."
Correct!Wrong!Alan.
-
13. "I’d spend hours in HMV, Virgin Megastore and second-hand record shops staffed by greasy-haired 40-year-olds dressed as 20-year-olds … And I came to a startling but unshakeable conclusion: no genuinely good music has been created since 1988."
Correct!Wrong!Alan.
Who Said It: Morrissey Or Alan Partridge?
