1. Always be glad that that your check-ups have never gone this badly.
MY DENTIST ASKED HIS ASSISTANT TO SUCTION (THE WATER OUT OF MY MOUTH)BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS TALKING TO ME SO I SUCKED HIS FINGER. IM MORTIFIED
2. And that you've never replied "LOL" to a dead grandpa text.
i was so high that i thought gpa meant grade point average and then i realized she meant her grandpa who is dead
3. Imagine being the girl who said this, with salad on her head.
So today I was lookin at a girl bcuz she had a piece of lettuce in her hair & she looks at me and said "I have a boyfriend" ok lettuce head
4. Or the girl whose dog was ruined.
My mom just RUINED my dog and she literally said "he wanted to keep it long on the top" I am devastated
5. Be glad your romantic gestures are more successful than this dad's.
dad bought my mum asparagus for valentines day thinkin they were daffodils nope I am done
6. Luckily, you have enough composure not to let things like this happen.
My coworker is pregnant and they passed a card around and I didn't know what to write so I just put HAVE A GOOD BABY TANYA
7. And you've never been made to mime playing a recorder.
so my brother lost his recorder and the teacher still made him perform...
8. You've never discussed erb derbs with your friends.
oh my god😭
9. Or been violated by a Pikachu.
THE PIKACHU REACHED OUT TO PET MY HEAD?????? IM NO SURE WHY BUT I ACCEPTED IT
10. If you'd received this text you'd never have been the same again.
I CANT BELIEVE THIS JUST HAPPENED TO ME IM SCREAMING
11. Imagine accusing your SO of cheating, only to realise it's their little sister.
I h8 myself
12. Or dealing with confusing emotions in such a manner as this.
when i was 7 i had a crush on a girl in my class & didnt know how to deal w it so I wrote her a letter that just said "get out of my school"
13. Thankfully, you've never been approached by an old woman proclaiming you have the same look.
A stranger came up and told us we had the same hair... then proceeded to ask to snap a pic then sent it to me
14. Thank god this happened to Diego, and not you.
"How's your day going?"
15. And that it wasn't you who woke up in this position.
I'm pretty sure they don't even know each other #FinalsWeek
16. Aren't you relieved you've never received this text from your mother?
she means break a leg..
17. Or that putting the bins out has never gone down like this.
my flatmate has just peaked
18. No matter how bad life has got, take solace in the fact that you've never asked a band called "Puppy Problems" for help with your dog...
Truly incredible development
19. ...been trapped in the girls toilet thanks to being so high...
BRUH IM HIGH AF AT WALMART AND FUCKED AROUND AND WENT IN THE WOMENS RESTROOM IVE BEEN TRYNA LEAVE FOR 10 MINS BUT T… https://t.co/StfBJyp5RT
20. ...or been shown on your school's official website writing with a fucking cheese string.
as if the school uploaded a pic of me writin with a cheese string
21. You've never thought your mum gave you a dildo for Christmas.
MY MOM HANDED ME A GIFT SO I OPENED IT AND SCREAMED REALLY LOUD BECAUSE I THOUGHT SHE GOT ME A DILDO BUT ITS REALLY… https://t.co/Q3oI8oydDw
22. And we really hope you've never had a near death experience with a DJ-ing Uber driver.
Everyone: 2016 could not possibly get worse Me: *dies in a car crash while my Uber driver is literally DJing*
23. You've never had tens of thousands of people read about the time you brought a girl back, had sex with her, and woke up your whole family.
When your brother wakes the whole house up shagging some lass and your moms messaging you from the room next door
24. Let's hope your grandma has never tried, and very much failed, to help you sort out your ripped jeans.
My cousin took her washing up to my grans for her to do & she went back to pick it up & my gran had sewed her ripped jeans up😭😭😭 I am crying
25. Things may be bad for you, but at least they're not "screengrab a text from your boss, and accidentally sent it back to him while calling him a cunt" bad.
oh no wtf have i done
26. Imagine thinking you could move on with your life, turning on the TV, and finding this.
i blocked my ex on everything but she some how managed to message me through direct tv
27. Or trying to do a good deed for you little sister only for it to go this wrong.
I accidentally sent this to my little sisters first grade teacher but I meant sick omg
28. But, more than anything, remember this: YOU have never gone out for dinner dressed like a plate. This guy has.
Imagine coming to wetherspoons dressed as one of the plates...