29 Tweets That Won't Make Much Sense Unless You're British

This country may be divided by politics, but it's united by excellent tweets.

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AND ON EASTER SUNDAY JESUS DID RISE DECREEING THAT THE BIG TESCO MUST CLOSE IN HIS HONOUR BUT THE EXPRESS STORE CAN STAY OPEN FOR ESSENTIALS

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When I get a hold of the telly remote

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What people think England is like vs what it's really like

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At first the meerkats were against Compare The Market, but now they actively promote it. And we, the viewer, are supposed to just accept it.

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I miss house parties. Stumbling into each room to see two mates that hate eachother close to shagging n someone passed out in the bath

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When your fake tan starts coming off and your just like...

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Dominos asked robbie how many slices he wanted his pizza cut into 4 or 6 n he said 4 cause he couldn't eat 6

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One of my flatmates opens their bread like this. I don't feel safe anymore.

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was hoping we'd get a better draw in World War 3, looks like we'll be going out in the group stage

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when you wake up from a nap only to realise you slept on your crisps

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My flatmate n his friends queue jumped at a club by pretending to be someone from geordie shore and making a fake t… https://t.co/3eIGR8Yu7L

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Just bumped into my old French teacher and she asked me what I'm up to now. I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother.

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So humbled to meet @piersmorgan thank you for the picture mate

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also does anyone else find it weird that the middle of the House of Lords is basically laid out like a shoe shop

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Grand Designs be like: I rock climb for a living and my wife sells umbrella insurance. We have a budget of 1.3 million

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When your maw sends you to Asda with yer da

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Man refused entry to club argues with door staff, passing phone to randomer in queue to record the altercation. Randomer runs off with phone

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when you buy a ticket and it doesn't get checked for the entire journey

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When you're in the chippy deciding what to have.