1.
... and the Philosopher's Stone.
2.
Oi satellite dish, what music you into, pal?
3.
What's made of brass, and, sounds like Tom Jones?Trombones.
4.
Gregg Wallace
5.
Enjoying Challenge TV's tribute to David Bowie.
6.
"We can't call it Kentucky Fried Chicken we'll get sued, pick another state" "OK which one" "Any, it doesn't matter"
7.
When you beg your mum to buy you an Iron Man costume and your nan says she'll make you one instead.
8.
Even tho I pretend that I moved on, you'll always be my baby...
9.
Hi mate, where was the photo on your lanyard taken? It's the same as the one that you've just taken. What?
10.
I'd heard rumours but good on her......
11.
He stees you when you're stleeping
12.
I feel like the BBC shouldn't report on court cases until it's unlocked all the bonus characters.
13.
Obi Wan Kenobi (Alec Guinness) Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamil) starred in the first Star Wars film in 1977 #ForceAwakens
14.
Deal
15.
The Spice Girls: great 90s pop band. Terrible at balancing.
16.
Want to feel old? This is what Sir Killalot looks like now (He looks the same because robots don't age)
17.
Who needs 10,000 characters when Twitter produces this gold in 140?
18.
My nan went in for a passport photo, came out with a picture of her and Ali G
19.
Convince people you have American teeth, by putting a train ticket in your mouth
20.
This painting of an 18th century woman totally looks like David Cameron in drag
21.
BUT THEN YOU WAKE UP AND ASK IF I'VE PAID THE COUNCIL TAX AND IT GETS HARDER TO PROJECT A CUTESY NARRATIVE ONTO YOU
22.
dad bought my mum asparagus for valentines day thinkin they were daffodils nope I am done
23.
Punctured ricicle On a bowlside desolate. Will breakfast make a man of me yet?
24.
Wanna feel old? This is the girl from the 1982 film 'Annie'
25.
The new Enid Blyton book is a bit dark.
26.
When your humous says something funny and you just think
27.
Lou Bega's difficult second single.
28.
"The bond's Name. James Name" Pleased to... what? "Bond Name's the james" Are you alright? "Bames Nond's having a stronk, call a Bondulance"
29.
I've just had a great idea for a children's book.
30.
I can't tell if my local chicken shop owner is dyslexic or a militant atheist.
31.
Sam Smith's smartened up a bit since he found success.
32.
Coup for the Brits to get Craig David tonight. He's usually making love on a Wednesday #BRITs2016