1. The first rule of playing the bass dog is to never take your eyes off your bass dog.
2. It's important that you keep your bass dog warm at all times.
3. If you have an electric bass dog, make sure it's plugged in.
4. Keep your bass dog on a lead to stop it from running away mid-set.
5. With enough practice, you can make your bass dog pull the same faces as you.
6. Always keep your bass dog well fed during a gig.
7. Watch where your fingers are going - one wrong move can be disastrous.
8. If your bass dog is proving to be a little heavy, rest it on your leg to lighten the load.
9. And if it gets too much you should invest in a bass dog strap.
10. Bass dogs are very intuitive - if you're happy, your bass dog will be happy.
11. Lightweight bass dogs are easier to play, but produce a less impressive tone.
12. NEVER put your fingers in the mouth of a bass dog.
13. Don't be afraid to try a number of different bass dogs before deciding which is the one for you.
14. And finally, playing an especially cute bass dog is a great way to take people's attention away from the weird faces you pull during a set.
In conclusion, then: Bass Dogs.