1."You aren't actually afraid of being left alone in your house, or in a creepy forest. You're afraid that you aren't alone."
2."Only mortals say that it would suck to live forever."
3."Sleeping in is considered lazy, but going to bed early is not."
4."Your car keys have travelled further than your car."
5."If Google matched people up by their browsing history, it could be the greatest online dating website of all time."
6."Browsers should wait until after you've successfully logged in before asking to save a password for a website."
7."You drive safer when there's food on your passenger seat than when there's a person sitting there."
8."If keyboards came with braille on them, we all could have subconsciously learned braille by now."
9."'Where are you?' is probably the least used phrase in sign language."
10."The Star Wars films are set mainly in outer space yet they've never once shown a zero gravity scene."
11."An 'unlimited minutes per month' phone plan really only gives you 44,640 minutes per month at best."
12."We're not thankful enough that the whole world agreed on the same units of time."
13."Maybe plants are really farming us, giving us oxygen until we eventually expire and turn into mulch which they can consume."
14."When your dog keeps bringing you the same toy, is that because it's your dog's favourite toy, or because your dog thinks it's your favourite toy?"
15."If Google Maps added 5 minutes to every time estimate on directions millions of people would be on time for things."
16."By the end of this century people will start looking up their ancestors on Facebook."
17."You shouldn't be scared of a computer passing the Turing test – you should be scared of one that intentionally fails it."
18."Tamagotchis have been replaced with FitBit. Now we are the thing that needs to be walked."
19."If you're over 30, every single dog that was alive when you were born is now dead."
20."Considering how there's no traces of humans in the film, The Lion King could be set in any era. It could be the Bronze Age, 21st century, or a cyborg future where humanity has gone extinct."
21."Zombies should be naked from the waist down. All of that weight lost to dehydration and rot would cause their trousers to fall down."
22."When drone technology becomes cheap enough, hands-free umbrellas are gonna be the shit."
23."The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf."
24."Of all the bodily functions that could be contagious, thank god it's the yawn."
