1.At some point, someone decided that deconstructing a caesar salad was a good idea.
2.When we were kids, sandwiches were more than just a metaphor for our empty, unfulfilling lives.
3.And people who wrote cracker jokes understood WHAT A FUCKING BULL WAS.
4.Talking of crackers, "the man" has even sucked the joy out of chocolate eggs and four-day weekends thanks to this fuckery.
5.These days you actually have to check that you're not being sold a solitary chicken nugget, as if that's a thing that should ever happen.
6.Remember a time when you could enjoy chocolate, curry, and chips separately?! Good times...
7.And whoever thought combining lager and rum was a good idea has clearly never lost a game of Ring of Fire.
8.In modern Britain you can actually buy a BOOK that DESCRIBES YOUTUBE VIDEOS.
9.In the glory days of four TV channels and computers as big as cars, your reward for finishing an ice lolly was a joke. Now? A fucking URL.
10.And you were able to buy cheese without first having to ask a shop assistant to remove it from its durable plastic cell.
11.It's almost strange to think that there was once a time when people knew what a pie was – unlike this monstrosity, which is just a bowl of casserole wearing a puff pastry hat.
12.Concerned that we might not be able to understand the concept of queuing, supermarkets have morphed into the most depressing Disneyland ride you could possibly imagine.
13.But then these are the same people who decided to put ring-pulls on coconuts (and then wrap them in clingfilm?!), so we shouldn't be surprised.
14.The fucking state of this.
15.The unnecessary combination of otherwise perfectly acceptable foods has even reached Britain's bakeries. Is nowhere safe?
16.Not Scrabble?! You were better than this. YOU WERE SO MUCH BETTER.
17.And someone somewhere let THIS happen, as if people weren't aware that pink French Fancies are the only French Fancies worth giving a shit about.
18.They even managed to ruin Christmas and crisps in one fell swoop.
19.And while you and I went on school trips to medieval castles and museums, today's children are taken to NatWest.
20.And anyone caught eating a boring old hen's egg is treated with the same derision as someone who pronounces quinoa "kwin-oh-a".
21.Talking of which, this is an actual thing you can buy in an actual shop.
22.And then, of course, there's the mysterious case of what's happened to all of Britain's plates.
