If "Game Of Thrones" Was Set In Britain

Drizzle is coming.

1. House Cymru

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House sigil: A dragon.

House motto: "Here be dragons."

Enemies: They'd claim anyone from England, but really they're too nice to have enemies.

Strength: Being able to communicate without the use of vowels.

2. House Merseyside

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House sigil: A yellow submarine.

House motto: "You'll never walk alone."

Enemies: House Lancashire (of which they used to be a part of until a civil war).

Strengths: Inventing pop music.

3. House Norfolk

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House sigil: Alan Partridge.

House motto: "A Ha!"

Enemies: House Suffolk.

Strengths: Local radio.

4. House Lancashire

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House sigil: A red rose.

House motto: "Rain is coming, our kid."

Enemies: House Yorkshire.

Strengths: Tolerating dampness.

5. House Alba

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House sigil: A can of Irn-Bru.

House motto: "Anyone but England."

Enemies: Everyone south of The Wall.

Strengths: Daein wit they want.

6. House Cornwall

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House sigil: A Cornish pasty.

House motto: "Further than you think."

Enemies: House Devon.

Strengths: Surfing and hen parties.

7. House Yorkshire

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House sigil: A white rose.

House motto: "Now then, dickhead."

Enemies: House Lancashire.

Strengths: Mid- to late '00s indie music.

8. House Manx

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House sigil: The three legs of Man.

House motto: "Three legs. Cats with no tails. Don't fuck with us."

Enemies: The Iron Bank of Westminster, thanks to its opinion on tax havens.

Strengths: The Tour de France.

(Disclaimer: The Isle of Man is, of course, not in Britain. But let's ignore that for the sake of a joke.)

9. House Tyne

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House sigil: The Newcastle fan punching the horse.

House motto: "We even punch horses."

Enemies: House Mackem.

Strengths: Being able to wander around topless during the depths of winter.

10. House Birmingham

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House sigil: A bull (to represent The Bullring).

House motto: "Not North. Not South."

Enemies: No one really notices House Birmingham enough to go to war with them. Except when you have to go through there on the train.

Strengths: Heavy metal. Also, they have a train station.

11. House London

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House sigil: A roundel.

House motto: "Please stand on the right."

Enemies: Anyone north of House Watford.

Strengths: Walking quickly while avoiding making eye contact with others.