1.
I just cut my mouth on a Kettle Chip (mature cheddar and red onion flavour) cc: @guardian
2.
I spent the morning reproofing our Barbour jackets and now my forearm is sore #middleclassinjuries
3.
Tongue is still smarting from my peppermint tea burn yesterday #middleclassinjuries
4.
I have a black eye from dropping my iPad on my face #middleclassinjuries
5.
Spilling boiling Camembert all over your hand after a night of red wine, risotto and cocktails. Poor @ionasgforbes #middleclassinjuries
6.
I've injured my tongue. A rogue, hard Waitrose skinny chip turned into a brutal implement in my mouth and stabbed it. Should I sue?
7.
Almost strangled by dotty scarf getting tangled in the artisan whilst making homemade pasta!! #middleClassInjuries
8.
Cut myself on a Rooibos tea packet. #middleclassinjuries
9.
Just stubbed my toe on daughter’s wooden sushi play set. The most middle class of all injuries.
10.
Just grazed the roof of my mouth with some toasted sourdough. #middleclassinjuries
11.
I may have just done something painful to a muscle in my arm whilst cutting up Applewood Smoked Cheddar #middleclassinjuries
12.
Just scraped my ankle on a magnum of Veuve. #middleclassinjuries
13.
Just tripped over an orchid. My injuries are getting increasingly upper-middle class. See also walking into walls during immersive theatre.
14.
Cut my finger on ragged wine bottle foil at dinner party last night #middleclassinjuries
15.
Just burnt my thumb on some hot polenta #middleclassinjuries
16.
Sliced with mezzaluna chopping fresh mint for @RiverCottage Baby & Toddler lamb burgers. #middleclassinjuries
17.
Today I have burnt myself on my espresso machine and stabbed myself removing an avocado pit. I am such a cliche. #middleclassinjuries
18.
Slight chill from bathing in the Hampstead ponds. #middleclassinjuries
19.
Just been told about someone who stabbed himself opening an oyster and now can't play golf. The epitome of #middleclassinjuries
20.
Today in middle-class injuries, I have a splinter from a sweet william on my most important typing finger.
21.
Just poked myself in the eye with my credit card #middleclassinjuries
22.
Steam burn from pitta bread #MiddleClassInjuries
23.
Burnt myself on a muffin ring yesterday whilst making spinach English muffins with @JAFergie. #middleclassinjuries
24.
Bugger, dropped fondue on my Blackberry #middleclassinjuries
25.
Burnt my thumb on the Aga #MiddleClassInjuries
26.
#middleclassinjuries I dropped my iPad (vertically) on my big toe
27.
Hurt my hand on a Kilner jar while making porridge #middleclassinjuries
28.
I have just cut my thumb open taking the lid of a tub of Waitrose créme fraiche. Is the the most middle class injury ever?
29.
Burnt my finger on oozing molten centre of an M&S mini chicken kiev #firstworldproblems #middleclassinjuries
30.
I've got hand-strain from carrying an overfull clutch bag to a wedding. #middleclassinjuries
31.
Just cut my finger on the lid of a bottle of Belvoir Ginger Cordial. #middleclassinjuries
32.
#middleclassinjuries just sliced the tip off my finger on a mandolin making sweet potato crisps #lol
33.
2nd degree burns after over scrubbing my scrotum with a loofah and herbal essences mint shampoo this morning #MiddleClassInjuries
34.
I got a paper cut off the Guardian's Review Section. #middleclassproblems
35.
Burnt my thumb while toasting pita. Short of drowning in salted caramel or stabbing myself with quinoa, that's the most middle class injury.
36.
Today I suffered the most middle class injury ever. I hurt my wrist while rinsing kale.
H/T to @greg_jenner for creating one of the most enjoyable hashtags on Twitter.