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36 Truly Terrifying Middle-Class Injuries

"I have a black eye from dropping my iPad on my face."

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1.

I just cut my mouth on a Kettle Chip (mature cheddar and red onion flavour) cc: @guardian

Hayley Campbell@hayleycampbellyFollow

I just cut my mouth on a Kettle Chip (mature cheddar and red onion flavour) cc: @guardian

7:12 PM - 10 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

2.

I spent the morning reproofing our Barbour jackets and now my forearm is sore #middleclassinjuries

Kimberley@KimMHayesFollow

I spent the morning reproofing our Barbour jackets and now my forearm is sore #middleclassinjuries

4:29 PM - 22 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

3.

Tongue is still smarting from my peppermint tea burn yesterday #middleclassinjuries

Maria Rowbotham@MariaRowbothamFollow

Tongue is still smarting from my peppermint tea burn yesterday #middleclassinjuries

3:01 PM - 21 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

4.

I have a black eye from dropping my iPad on my face #middleclassinjuries

Lizi Atkinson@liziatkoFollow

I have a black eye from dropping my iPad on my face #middleclassinjuries

3:38 PM - 08 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

5.

Spilling boiling Camembert all over your hand after a night of red wine, risotto and cocktails. Poor @ionasgforbes #middleclassinjuries

Sophie Taylor@sophiealextFollow

Spilling boiling Camembert all over your hand after a night of red wine, risotto and cocktails. Poor @ionasgforbes #middleclassinjuries

10:42 PM - 24 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

6.

I've injured my tongue. A rogue, hard Waitrose skinny chip turned into a brutal implement in my mouth and stabbed it. Should I sue?

Michael Clarke@macnovelFollow

I've injured my tongue. A rogue, hard Waitrose skinny chip turned into a brutal implement in my mouth and stabbed it. Should I sue?

12:12 AM - 10 Nov 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

7.

Almost strangled by dotty scarf getting tangled in the artisan whilst making homemade pasta!! #middleClassInjuries

emma robbins@mumshadenoughFollow

Almost strangled by dotty scarf getting tangled in the artisan whilst making homemade pasta!! #middleClassInjuries

8:29 PM - 10 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

8.

Cut myself on a Rooibos tea packet. #middleclassinjuries

Gluten-free Issi @issiwissyFollow

Cut myself on a Rooibos tea packet. #middleclassinjuries

11:18 AM - 26 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

9.

Just stubbed my toe on daughter’s wooden sushi play set. The most middle class of all injuries.

Marc Risby@marcrisbyFollow

Just stubbed my toe on daughter’s wooden sushi play set.

The most middle class of all injuries.

7:32 PM - 10 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

10.

Just grazed the roof of my mouth with some toasted sourdough. #middleclassinjuries

Christine Jolly@christinejollyFollow

Just grazed the roof of my mouth with some toasted sourdough. #middleclassinjuries

3:38 PM - 14 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

11.

I may have just done something painful to a muscle in my arm whilst cutting up Applewood Smoked Cheddar #middleclassinjuries

Rowan Molyneux@RowanMolyneuxFollow

I may have just done something painful to a muscle in my arm whilst cutting up Applewood Smoked Cheddar #middleclassinjuries

7:01 PM - 12 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

12.

Just scraped my ankle on a magnum of Veuve. #middleclassinjuries

Lucie@Lucie_911Follow

Just scraped my ankle on a magnum of Veuve. #middleclassinjuries

6:40 PM - 18 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

13.

Just tripped over an orchid. My injuries are getting increasingly upper-middle class. See also walking into walls during immersive theatre.

SarahTwentyfifteenan@perfectlyvagueFollow

Just tripped over an orchid. My injuries are getting increasingly upper-middle class. See also walking into walls during immersive theatre.

2:57 PM - 25 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

14.

Cut my finger on ragged wine bottle foil at dinner party last night #middleclassinjuries

Andrew Neather@hernehillandyFollow

Cut my finger on ragged wine bottle foil at dinner party last night #middleclassinjuries

8:57 AM - 19 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

15.

Just burnt my thumb on some hot polenta #middleclassinjuries

Rachel Sensibleson@rachel_londonFollow

Just burnt my thumb on some hot polenta #middleclassinjuries

7:42 PM - 19 Aug 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

16.

Sliced with mezzaluna chopping fresh mint for @RiverCottage Baby & Toddler lamb burgers. #middleclassinjuries

j farrington-douglas@joefdFollow

Sliced with mezzaluna chopping fresh mint for @RiverCottage Baby & Toddler lamb burgers. #middleclassinjuries

9:35 AM - 09 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

17.

Today I have burnt myself on my espresso machine and stabbed myself removing an avocado pit. I am such a cliche. #middleclassinjuries

Emma Jones@slackerjonesyFollow

Today I have burnt myself on my espresso machine and stabbed myself removing an avocado pit. I am such a cliche. #middleclassinjuries

7:54 PM - 04 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

18.

Slight chill from bathing in the Hampstead ponds. #middleclassinjuries

Robin Murray@ClashRobinFollow

Slight chill from bathing in the Hampstead ponds. #middleclassinjuries

6:35 PM - 15 Sep 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

19.

Just been told about someone who stabbed himself opening an oyster and now can't play golf. The epitome of #middleclassinjuries

Hannah @ LovetoDine@LovetoDineBlogFollow

Just been told about someone who stabbed himself opening an oyster and now can't play golf. The epitome of #middleclassinjuries

12:09 PM - 12 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

20.

Today in middle-class injuries, I have a splinter from a sweet william on my most important typing finger.

Ellabell@missellabellFollow

Today in middle-class injuries, I have a splinter from a sweet william on my most important typing finger.

7:34 AM - 02 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

21.

Just poked myself in the eye with my credit card #middleclassinjuries

HarriëtW@HeythereHarriFollow

Just poked myself in the eye with my credit card #middleclassinjuries

4:24 PM - 17 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

22.

Steam burn from pitta bread #MiddleClassInjuries

Robin@robinarm1964Follow

Steam burn from pitta bread #MiddleClassInjuries

4:18 PM - 19 Oct 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

23.

Burnt myself on a muffin ring yesterday whilst making spinach English muffins with @JAFergie. #middleclassinjuries

Becky Waterton@beckyh2otonFollow

Burnt myself on a muffin ring yesterday whilst making spinach English muffins with @JAFergie. #middleclassinjuries

4:04 PM - 08 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

24.

Bugger, dropped fondue on my Blackberry #middleclassinjuries

Andrew Neather@hernehillandyFollow

Bugger, dropped fondue on my Blackberry #middleclassinjuries

10:10 PM - 28 Nov 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

25.

Burnt my thumb on the Aga #MiddleClassInjuries

Gareth Billington@BillersGFollow

Burnt my thumb on the Aga #MiddleClassInjuries

7:36 AM - 02 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

26.

#middleclassinjuries I dropped my iPad (vertically) on my big toe

Roger Browning@rognbrowFollow

#middleclassinjuries I dropped my iPad (vertically) on my big toe

1:47 PM - 11 Jul 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

27.

Hurt my hand on a Kilner jar while making porridge #middleclassinjuries

HelenMassy-Beresford@hmassyberesfordFollow

Hurt my hand on a Kilner jar while making porridge #middleclassinjuries

10:10 AM - 10 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

28.

I have just cut my thumb open taking the lid of a tub of Waitrose créme fraiche. Is the the most middle class injury ever?

itsallaboutcake@ItsallaboutcakeFollow

I have just cut my thumb open taking the lid of a tub of Waitrose créme fraiche. Is the the most middle class injury ever?

6:33 PM - 11 Nov 11ReplyRetweetFavorite

29.

Burnt my finger on oozing molten centre of an M&S mini chicken kiev #firstworldproblems #middleclassinjuries

Katie-Alix Smith@katiealixFollow

Burnt my finger on oozing molten centre of an M&S mini chicken kiev #firstworldproblems #middleclassinjuries

1:33 PM - 12 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

30.

I've got hand-strain from carrying an overfull clutch bag to a wedding. #middleclassinjuries

Flic Everett@fliceverettFollow

I've got hand-strain from carrying an overfull clutch bag to a wedding. #middleclassinjuries

1:01 PM - 15 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

31.

Just cut my finger on the lid of a bottle of Belvoir Ginger Cordial. #middleclassinjuries

Faye L@fabletineFollow

Just cut my finger on the lid of a bottle of Belvoir Ginger Cordial. #middleclassinjuries

7:39 PM - 27 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

32.

#middleclassinjuries just sliced the tip off my finger on a mandolin making sweet potato crisps #lol

Johnny Boy@JohnnySeftonFollow

#middleclassinjuries just sliced the tip off my finger on a mandolin making sweet potato crisps #lol

2:48 PM - 01 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

33.

2nd degree burns after over scrubbing my scrotum with a loofah and herbal essences mint shampoo this morning #MiddleClassInjuries

DH@DickHornbyFollow

2nd degree burns after over scrubbing my scrotum with a loofah and herbal essences mint shampoo this morning

#MiddleClassInjuries

12:49 PM - 02 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

34.

I got a paper cut off the Guardian's Review Section. #middleclassproblems

Sybil Disobedience@PaolaOesteFollow

I got a paper cut off the Guardian's Review Section. #middleclassproblems

11:53 AM - 10 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

35.

Burnt my thumb while toasting pita. Short of drowning in salted caramel or stabbing myself with quinoa, that's the most middle class injury.

Mitten d'Amour@MittenDAmourFollow

Burnt my thumb while toasting pita. Short of drowning in salted caramel or stabbing myself with quinoa, that's the most middle class injury.

8:33 PM - 14 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

36.

Today I suffered the most middle class injury ever. I hurt my wrist while rinsing kale.

Charlotte Crowley@gnd_fashionFollow

Today I suffered the most middle class injury ever. I hurt my wrist while rinsing kale.

8:32 PM - 07 Dec 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

H/T to @greg_jenner for creating one of the most enjoyable hashtags on Twitter.