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    26 Funny British Tweets Because Funny British Tweets Are All We Have Left

    "Been absolutely shattered since about year 8."

    1.

    2.

    "Did ya say ya want scraps wi' them fish 'n' chips, love?"

    3.

    20yrs of personal tube platform expertise and competitive commuting advantage rendered useless by some green paint.

    4.

    Been absolutely shattered since about year 8

    5.

    Axl Rose's metamorphosis into Benny Hill is almost complete.

    6.

    Boy behind the bar said to jason "£4 a pint £8 a pitcher" jason goes "were no wanting a photo just a pint please" 😂😂😂😂😂

    7.

    Somewhat dubious scenes spotted in the background of a friend's 4yo's school book

    8.

    Dream aboot winning the lottery at least 10 times a day... pretty optimistic as a dinny even buy lottery tickets

    9.

    Maybe it sounds more family friendly with an American accent.

    10.

    Customers just asked me what perfume I've got on, didn't have the heart to tell her I'd febreze'd myself so I said it were Marc Jacobs ffs

    11.

    There's a Thomas the Tank episode where a stubborn train is punished by being entombed alive forever and it's worse… https://t.co/4mTSLYGCPY

    12.

    When your duck is actually really posh

    13.

    Used to piss me off seeing Xmas stuff in shops in Sept, now just admire their blind optimism that we'll still be around in three months time

    14.

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    An owl having the most Kate Bush moment ever.

    16.

    Never forget when Roy Hodgson saw himself on the big screen while England were getting beat by Iceland and pretende… https://t.co/7XTsiDh3px

    17.

    17 years ago today the fittest girl in my year said happy birthday to me and I said it back and I still think about it roughly 9 times a day

    18.

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    Idk who’s idea hash browns were but they deserve a fuckin knighthood

    20.

    Uber has 21 days to appeal TfL's decision. Wait, 14 days. No, 22 days. Hang on, it's 5 days now. Oh no they're here quick put your shoes on.

    21.

    The UKIP lion looks like it's just been told its dinner is halal.

    22.

    Come and see this play about chronic neck pain!

    23.

    Imagine trying some boots on in topshop and turn round to see a lady walking up and down in YOUR sandles..FUMING😷

    24.

    Tell me why Ain't nothin' but a heartache

    25.

    Well there you go, I've found the winner of grindr.

    26.

    Michael buble is probably defrosting as we speak

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