1.
Who the fuck designed this? Aquafresh?!
2.
12.99 tae look like a bit a ravioli
3.
my favourite song by The Smiths
4.
stop right now thank you very much I need somebody with a
5.
when your nan brings the biscuit barrel out..
6.
Feel like pure shit just want her back
7.
when you walk back into the sesh after throwing up
8.
This is giving me life rn.
9.
festival lineup posters are like eye tests for indie kids; the smaller the writing you can understand, the indier you are
10.
probably my fav story of 2017 @caitalexanderx
11.
To lose one Prime Minister to a reckless gamble on a completely unnecessary vote may be regarded as misfortune; to lose two...
12.
'Would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those pesky kids...' #GE2017
13.
The most disappointing thing about the UK election is there wasn't even a hint of Russian interference. It's like we don't matter at all.
14.
Can some just check the Times crossword setter is okay? And not eg being menaced by a large cat
15.
My mate was on a flight with Harry Redknapp last night
16.
Never piss off wheat farmers in key marginals
17.
Thinking Oasis are reuniting and Coldplay end up singing this is like when ya mam says it's pizza for tea n pulls one outta freezer
18.
KFC away
19.
There's a girl in our hostel room called manon and every time someone says her name I shite myself and do a Cruyff turn
20.
21.
when ur underage in wetherspoons & see the bouncer coming
22.
Rare photo of David Cameron and Nick Clegg from 2010 coalition
23.
i nearly tripped over a dog on the train and said 'sorry chicken' and someone genuinely . under their breath . said . that's a dog .
24.
autoglass: autoglass repair me: autoglass replace
25.
When you're struggling to reach the word count whilst writing an essay
26.
Liam Gallagher once called Chris Martin a "geography teacher who makes music for bedwetters." @ArianaGrande to sort Brexit negotiations next
27.
It's the remix to ignition Hot and fresh out the kitchen 4,000 homes for rough sleepers And you won't have to pay f… https://t.co/6gNfp8Lphx
28.
Long time to be out for dinner
29.
Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you
30.
Ed Sheehan writing a song: I met her *throws dice* in a caravan park, she was *spins wheel* an unhappy bartender, I don't have a degree
31.
AND ON EASTER SUNDAY JESUS DID RISE DECREEING THAT THE BIG TESCO MUST CLOSE IN HIS HONOUR BUT THE EXPRESS STORE CAN STAY OPEN FOR ESSENTIALS
32.
Vowel please Nicki
33.
34.
My neck, my back, my
35.
WIFE: This is for a tweet isn't it...
36.
"Never have I ever ran through a field of wheat"
37.
"I got us into this mess, I'm going to get us out of it", says Theresa May.
38.
I CHOKED
39.
And the award for best name for a knock-off costume goes to...
40.
Why the fuck has my 15 year old cousin just put this on his sc story 😭😭😭😂
41.
No it doesn't.
42.
Ma sisters just told me her pal canny get Indians delivered cause she lives on Curry Street n they think it's a prank call
43.
he’s like this every time we turn the vaccuum cleaner on
44.
well I'm never using tinder again
45.
Fucking hate getting catfished by a parking space u think it's empty and then there's a fucking KA in there
46.
Fred flintstone been driving about killie
47.
she’s got to go to Middlesbrough and get something, and… and… I’ll tell you, honestly, I will love it if we beat th… https://t.co/GO74jA17gI
48.
Dear Theresa, it's not the number of MPs that counts it's how you use them. You have to do more with less that's all 😂👏👍
49.
Want to feel old? This is what Ross and Rachel from Friends look like now
50.
This entire shelf of own-brand cereals sounds like an old English army Major, trying to find a euphemism for gay me… https://t.co/eRVPVpxYVD
51.
I've got a Blur alarm clock, so I always wake up listening to Park Life, except on Wednesdays when I get rudely awakened by the dustmen.
52.
Never sell a golf club on Facebook to someone from East Kilbride!
53.
its mad to think that if you buy a triple sandwich at Tesco, someone else is eating the other half of the same sandwich
54.
I like this picture of the queen's corgis because it looks like this is only the beginning and there's in fact a pl… https://t.co/KczBVOuwY8
55.
wow I must have missed the announcement when minimum wage was raised to £93 million an hour thanks Theresa May knew… https://t.co/TZtdEL1V2z
56.
57.
If Vince doesn't run with the Leadership campaign slogan 'Strong and Cable' then, quite frankly, he doesn't deserve to be Lib Dem leader
58.
Can't leave the EU if you can't form a government