back to top

Britain Is Voting To Name Another Gritting Lorry, And "David Plowie" Is Winning

Or will "Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney" finally have its day?

Posted on

Those of you capable of casting your minds back to the heady days of 2016 may remember Oldham council's attempt to jump on the Boaty McBoatface saltwagon...

We want you to name our new gritter, so send us your suggestions by 5pm on 30 Nov https://t.co/Az3uSHcuME

The winner was eventually decided. Oldham's new gritter was to be called "Nicole Saltslinger". Which was a travesty, because it meant this entry was cruelly overlooked:

@OldhamCouncil Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney

And so inevitably, the councils of Britain are back at it again with the yellow vans.

😱*Puts on tin hat* 😱 We would like your name suggestions for two of our new gritting vehicles, please. Keep em… https://t.co/vDcyqcL7XT

Advertisement

Before voting began, Doncaster council tried to inspire the public with their pre-existing gritters' names, such as Gritney Spears and Usain Salt.

Don't forget we already have gritters with the following names: - Brad Grit - Gritney Spears - The Subzero Hero - Mr Plow - Usain Salt

Finally we got underway. The first round included some very one sided fixtures.

The opening fixture of the #DoncasterGrittingWorldCup pits two titans against each other. Who will prevail in this fight for the ages?

The British public quickly decided it was a case of "give me a pun or GTFO". Quite right too.

Next up we have a suggestion from a young boy in Doncaster town centre, playing against one by an actual grown-up.

Match number three proved either, a) there is a groundswell of nationalism sweeping the country, or b) Fern Britton isn't on the TV much these days.

Daytime TV, or national pride? Finally, the age old debate will be settled in the #DoncasterGrittingWorldCup

Advertisement

Then came an early favourite:

One of the most popular suggestions faces off against a national hero.

And to complete the first round we had:

Road salt? Our gritting team don't want none unless you got tonnes, son.

Will another one bite the dust in this crucial fixture?

Wondering who will win this fixture is going keep us up all night long. All night. All night loong.

Advertisement

But then...WHAT'S THIS? Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-slip Machiney has risen from the ashes to fight another day!

We're going to have to do things differently for our final fixture, because one suggestion is too long for a poll b… https://t.co/LBrsDGwncn

It was actually submitted by the same person as last year. Unsurprisingly she was a little nervous...

@Adam_MarkOliver @MyDoncaster After the failure in Oldham last year, I don't know if I can take this sort of rejection again 😭

Advertisement

Which brings us to the present – the finals are currently being played out, with just hours of voting to go, and it is CLOSE:

Please choose between: Gritsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Anti-Slip Machiney and Spready Mercury

So if you want to take part in history, rather than sit back as decisions are made for you, you know what to do...

UPDATE: The polls have closed. The results have been counted and verified....

We are DELIGHTED to be able to confirm what our new gritters will be called, following the… https://t.co/P67TfVN4sa