1.
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman went to a bar. They all had to leave because the Englishman wanted to go.
2.
Take back control. No you take it back. No you fucking take it. You touched it last.
3.
has anyone tried putting the uk in rice
4.
England squad costs 175m. If we exit, let's spend it on the NHS.
5.
2015 politics: ed miliband eats a sandwich a bit weirdly 2016 politics: everything is on fire
6.
this is what you've done. i hope you feel bad.
7.
Hodgson, the only man in England with a coherent plan for leaving Europe.
8.
Boris Johnson will be along shortly to explain why we'll still get to play in the quarter finals, pick up the trophy, etc etc
9.
leave voters realising they've absolutely shafted us all but still trying to pretend they're pleased wae the result
10.
Jeremy Corbyn must do the decent thing. Prune that rosebush outside his front door so he doesn’t have to duck under it every morning.
11.
This is literally the worst day in English history since Friday.
12.
We are all facepalm man
13.
Even Baldrick had a fucking plan.
14.
In January I dismissed my mate's theory that David Bowie was the glue holding the universe together but I don't know man... I don't know...
15.
Hey girl are you invoking article 50 because I would tell any number of lies to get you but wouldn't have a clue what to do once I did
16.
Weird international market reaction during #ENGICE.
17.
Tom Watson is the only person in the country who's actually left Glastonbury to go and wade into a field full of shit.
18.
It's like the end of Hamlet. Tim Farron as Fortinbras is just going to walk on stage when everyone else is dead and claim the kingdom.
19.
gon tell me the difference between these two photos, cos i dinny see any
20.
millennial: [takes a few too many selfies for instagram] baby boomer: [destroys the british, continental, and global economy in one day]
21.
This is 50 cent or as we like to call him In the UK 10,000 pounds
22.
VOTERS: we want to give a boat a ridiculous name UK: no VOTERS: we want to break up the EU and trash the world economy UK: fine
23.
Someone has uploaded Boris Johnson's post referendum speech onto Pornhub with the following title...
24.
Best two tweets ever?
25.
You have to say fair play to England for their sheer dedication to making the whole of Europe piss themselves this week.
26.
#ENG proving twice in a week that they're unable to put a decent cross in a box #EURO2016
27.
When you're half way through your haircut and the barber tells you he is from Turkey.
28.
Bond films to last 30% longer with scenes of his passport being more heavily scrutinised between exotic European locales.
29.
I hope this defeat doesn't kill the feel good factor in the country at the moment.
30.
Iceland 2 Poundland 1
31.
Excellent suggestion from the Times letters page
32.
The Scousers told us The Sun lied and they told us Roy Hodgson was a fucking fraud. Two out of two.
33.
The real loser in all of this is Tom Hiddleston, who has set up five days of fauxmance photos with Taylor Swift, and no one gives a SHIT
34.
We have to stop saying Brexit, because Stan thinks we are saying biscuits.
35.
How many Bexiters does it take to change a light bulb? "I never said there was a light bulb"
36.
"I know it was you, Fredo...."