100 Tweets That Made British People Piss Themselves In 2016

So shines a good tweet in a weary world.

1.
2.
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5.
6.

Just got to tennis. Boyfriend has taken my racket out and put a frying pan in instead. I'm not even joking.

— Heidi Stephens (@heidistephens)
7.

"Bro you on EE?"

— t (@tyes_xo)
8.

Funny that @sainsburys xmas advert is all about being at home wi family at xmas, yet they've got me down to work xmas eve and boxing day

— Will (@willsaxo95)
9.

How do I tell them?? #Brexit

— James Offer (@joffley)
10.

Found the worlds saddest photo, guys.

— DocHackenbush (@DocHackenbush)
11.

U ok Hun?

— Warren Beckett (@RobotMonsieur)
12.

Brexit Britain, also known as

— Marie Le Conte (@youngvulgarian)
13.

Alright stop, refrigerate and listen

— Jody Porter (@jodyporter_)
14.

2017 goals

— Ryan Broderick (@broderick)
15.

Yoda is selling houses in Taunton.

— Orchard Pig (@Orchardpig)
16.

Obama: you told him Nigel Farage was British Foreign Secretary didn't you? Biden: Obama: Joe

— Katie Curtis (@KatieCurtis)
17.

When you have Bake Off at 8pm but Stone Roses at 10pm

— Rachel Young (@_rachel_young)
18.

Honestly thought someone was just super excited about the drinks machine

— Truck Boy (@lewisheywood)
19.

- how was ur first day at school son? - honestly? not great.

— Paul (@FrenulumBreve)
20.

What the fuck am I at uni with?😂😂

— Kieran Riley (@KieranRiley123)
21.

Policeman: Name please? Woman: Cheryl Cole Policeman: Your FULL name Woman: (quietly) Chernobyl Coleslaw

— trouteyes (@trouteyes)
22.

It's not a baby then is it

— JB™ (@gunnerpunner)
23.

Bought my 4 year old this hat from H&M kids despite the fact he can't even cope with skunk yet.

— lucy porter (@lucyportercomic)
24.

Why does this cat look like he just hit the cleanest freekick of the season 😂

— KingMusa (@OfficialSkinny1)
25.

Roses are red Violets are blue

— Sam (@sam_bambs)
26.

Theresa May shocks audiences by pulling German Chancellor Angela Merkel out of a giant top hat

— ohchrisburton (@ohchrisburton)
27.

my dad has just taken dad jokes to a whole new level

— jess (@enterjeshikari)
28.

Canny believe Gregors away in a huff cause we were slagging him for dressing like a train seat hahahahah

— robbiegarrick (@robbiegarrick)
29.

If video games have taught me anything it's that this guy is selling rare items that I'll need later in my quest.

— Pierre (@thepierrebear)
30.

Kim Jong Un looks like a sassy NHS nurse

— Ryan J. Brown (@BROWNJRYAN)
31.

Rare photo of the UK leaving the EU.

— Matt Keay (@mattadamkeay)
32.

Can I have a sweet pea please Bob?

— Tom (@tdawks)
33.

FaceTiming my oven so I can see when my garlic bread is done.

— georgeCVO (@GeorgeTweetings)
34.

Have we not suffered enough

— layla (@h7ney)
35.

My friend @liam_ohare has found a piece of breaded ham that looks exactly like Donald Trump.

— Stuart Ritchie (@StuartJRitchie)
36.

"We can't call it Kentucky Fried Chicken we'll get sued, pick another state" "OK which one" "Any, it doesn't matter"

— benjamin dilzraeli (@adventuresofrob)
37.

Even tho I pretend that I moved on, you'll always be my baby...

— ✨🔮✨ (@KirbyAfua)
38.

Who needs 10,000 characters when Twitter produces this gold in 140?

— Sean Spooner (@spoonersean)
39.

Convince people you have American teeth, by putting a train ticket in your mouth

— Rob Mitchell® (@robjmitchell)
40.

I will never stop laughing at this kid

— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford)
41.

If you can hear us Margaret, move a glass.

— Lise (@F41rygirl)
42.

To anyone attending the Bohemian Rhapsody rehearsal this afternoon, we're up in the treehouse...

— Lee Brace (@bracealmighty)
43.

Worst. Tinder bio. Ever.

— Sam Parker (@samparkercouk)
44.

I'm fine, I'm fine... you just got me right in the nads... ... Jesus Christ...

— Brian Doyle (@WritePlay)
45.

Feel sorry for all you idiots still stuck doing "Netflix and chill".

— Will Stevens (@teletextpage152)
46.

This photo of Phil Collins looks like its from a local paper, where he's complained to council about people leaving… https://t.co/cLhfgW9juA

— Brian Murphy (@bplmurphy)
47.

Took 93yr old mum and her friend to vote. #EUref

— Baz (@bazlyons)
48.

ME: I'll see you in a month WIFE: Don't forget to write ME: It's highly unlikely I'd forget such a basic skill, Sharon

— Marty Lawrence (@TeaAndCopy)
49.

when the customer ur dealing with asks to speak to the manager n the manager says the same thing u did

— billy gay cyrus (@ChelsUnderwood_)
50.

The Large White Guy Collider has successfully split a Chet into 7 smaller sub-Chets, the building blocks of White.

— Gabriel Morton (@gabrielenguard)
51.

you ever been involved in a real life crucifixion before toby?

— forest fr1ends (@forest_fr1ends)
52.

Harry Potter and the

— Amelia Florence (@ameliafsimmons)
53.

Every time I see this poster I think it's an advert for Paul Mcartney's new album

— Happy Nut (@thehappynut)
54.

Take back control. No you take it back. No you fucking take it. You touched it last.

— Brian Spamander (@BrianSpanner1)
55.

leave voters realising they've absolutely shafted us all but still trying to pretend they're pleased wae the result

— yer aul faither (@_Gingylocks)
56.

When your mum tells you to hing the washing oot and you chuck the closest pair eh shoes oan

— Cb (@CourtneyBankss_)
57.

We have to stop saying Brexit, because Stan thinks we are saying biscuits.

— Katrina Burroughs (@Kat_Burroughs)
58.

I was laughing too much when I got this home from the record shop to be angry. Worth every penny.

— Ian Boldsworth (@RayPeacock)
59.

#WorldBookDay Forgot they had to be in costume, so they're going to school as pages 89 & 165 of the Argos catalogue

— joe heenan (@joeheenan)
60.

Manic Street Preachers tried to warn us, but we didn't listen...

— Ian Cummins ❄️ (@TheGreatHumbug)
61.

I guess this means we can no longer use that phrase

— John Brennan (@UpturnedBathtub)
62.

When you voted to leave the EU but you gunna die soon so it's not your problem

— Medieval Reactions (@MedievalReacts)
63.

No Scottish shortbread for you little man!

— Conor Collins (@conartworks)
64.

I believe Slash and Axl actually came to blows over this first draft.

— Stuart (@stuartmwrites)
65.

Desperately trying to trick myself into doing some work

— Hen (@CaptainCaplin)
66.

Imagine the trouble she has trying to introduce herself in France.

— Stu. (@dysondoc)
67.

Theresa May looking like she's just been booked for diving

— Paulio (@stronzoimo)
68.

I want a sitcom about these neighbours

— joe (@goulcher)
69.

He's dead Susan

— . (@Josh_UTBoro)
70.

I see you Madeley, with Shrek and that lass, Shrek and that lass, Shrek and that lass, I see you Madeley…

— Neil (@_Enanem_)
71.

his palms are sweaty knees weak arms are heavy there's

— dan mentos (@DanMentos)
72.

this is what you've done. i hope you feel bad.

— grace elizabeth (@pe_eace)
73.

Needless to say, I don't think it's good news.

— Andy Lang (@HRH_Duke_of_Url)
74.

When your pirate friend wants to join in...

— Lee Brace (@bracealmighty)
75.

When you've got a ton of work to do by Derek, and it's already quarter to Linda:

— Glenn Moore (@TheNewsAtGlenn)
76.

The official Coronation Street colouring book is WILD

— Jolly Old Saint Al (@alan_maguire)
77.

Remember when Dennis Waterman ruled England from 1553-1558?

— Phlegm Clandango (@Cain_Unable)
78.

When you're in the back of the cab and the driver starts talking about immigrants

— Alan White (@aljwhite)
79.

William: "Let's do the scene where Luke finds out who his real dad is" Harry: "Can we not?" W: "Oh. Yeah. Sorry."

— Nick Pettigrew (@Nick_Pettigrew)
80.

Fella at Lidl got heavy confidence in that rose

— ✌🏽️ (@Owen_1906)
81.

you know that's bullshit Martine

— tacceber (@tacceber)
82.

The home fans behind the goal in the South Stand are chanting "You're just a sh*t Tesco sandwich" at Dagenham keeper Elliot Justham.

— Elliot Owens (@elliotowens95)
83.

Chocolate currency stronger than real currency

— James Livett (@radaeron)
84.

They've made all the Roses the same shape. And I'm colourblind. Worst year ever.

— Ray Foley (@rayfoleyshow)
85.

Am fucking embarrassed to call this thing my pal

— kristen (@kristenmcewanx)
86.

BRITAIN: Brexit is the stupidest, most self-destructive act a country could undertake. USA: Hold my beer.

— Brian Pedaci (@bpedaci)
87.

he was a sk8er boy she said see you l8er boy

— harvey (@harveymurrayy)
88.

Most people drunk text their ex or someone they fancy.... Not me.... What the actual fuck was going through my drun… https://t.co/t1HqWaBHux

— Annie 7⃣ (@annievicvic)
89.

Someone brought me these to cheer me up but I don't even fucking like voles

— Kim (@pullovergirl)
90.

My 127 year old baby says thank you but please let her die now

— Summer Ray (@SummerRay)
91.

if this gyal competing in the olympics can wear earrings why the fuck did I have to cover mine in plasters for PE

— bec (@beclatham)
92.

What a wanker I'd lob a nugget at him

— Kayleigh (@_kayleighevans)
93.

Coming soon to Thorpe Park: the value of the pound

— the dancing queeney (@pascal_queeney)
94.

Pleasure to meet you. The name's...

— Jay C (@jaybn1)
95.

3yo (in bathroom): Mummy, can I put this sticker on Daddy's card? Me (in bed): Yes. 3yo: Will he love it? Me: Yes.

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000)
96.

Finally an opinion i want to hear

— lil alpha decay (@mklvie)
97.

This woman on my train looked thrilled to be taking this call.

— Gareth Dimelow (@gdimelow)
98.

is this how you trigger article 50

— Hannah Jewell (@hcjewell)
99.

How can my mum go to nandos & fill up a whole water bottle of hot sauce 😭💔

— peaches (@bintambye)
100.

wow huge congrats to toilet

— becca t (@beccaandthebox)

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Robin Edds is editor-at-large at BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.
 
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