13 Reasons Why "The Smurfs" Is Communist Propaganda

Workers of the world, unite! All you have to Smurf are your chains!

1. The Smurfs were created by a Belgian named Peyo.

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When it comes to the humble origins of beloved Saturday morning cartoons, this tale starts just like any other: with a quick refresher on the political landscape of mid-20th century Belgium.

By the end of WWII, communism was totally fair game in mainstream Belgian politics. In fact, the Communist Party had just won 12% of the nation's parliamentary elections. By the 1960's, their membership was 11,000 strong. The Smurfs were created in 1958, right at the height of Belgian commie-mania.

Does that mean we can be sure Peyo was a Communist? Of course not. But is it possible? Totally.

Which begs the question, is The Smurfs an innocent Saturday morning cartoon or communist propaganda? Turns out there's a whole lot of reasons to believe those little blue creatures are just a bunch of pink-o's.

2. The Iron Fist of Papa Smurf

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Papa Smurf, the benevolent leader.

Ever the Leninist, everything Papa Smurf does is in service of his two major responsibilities: to organize and maintain order in Smurfvillage (what Marx called The Dictatorship of the Proletariat as the Instrument of Revolution), and to protect the Smurfs from Gargamel's evil plans (The Dictatorship of the Proletariat as the Domination of the Proletariat Over the Bourgeoisie).

See? Communist dictators are good guys after all.

3. Smurfs Are Defined By Their Singular Function

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Farmer Smurf, Painter Smurf, Handy Smurf, etc. They all have individualized niches, and are identified by the labor they provide the state. Being a cog in the machine has never felt so whimsical!

True, those same jobs would also exist in a capitalist society. But there's one key difference...

4. No Money, No Problems

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Unlike the stars of other children's programming, Smurfs lack even the most basic barter system.

While the Snorks' society is at times plagued by kelp-driven conflict [see "Junior's Foolish Kelp Rush and the Blue Lagoon"] and Fraggles survive by exploiting the labor of Doozers, those little green guys forced to constantly build whatever weird glass crap Fraggles eat, Smurfs simply collect Smurfberries and distribute them freely among the villagers.

No capital = no capitalism. Share and share alike, doesn't that sound nice?

5. Gargamel: Capitalism Incarnate

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All this dude does is try to consume Smurfs. If that metaphor for the exploitation of workers isn't on-the-nose enough for you, Gargamel's Wikipedia page notes his other motivation is to "capture enough of them to create a potion to turn base matter into gold."

Come on, the evil old white guy is literally trying to turn Smurfs into money.

6. The Abolition of the Family

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When Karl Marx proposed the dissolution of the family unit, he was surely dreaming of a Communist utopia just like this. They even call the head of state "Papa." And seriously, who does Baby Smurf belong to?

7. Universal Equality

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Aside from the occasional tattoo or glasses, Smurfs are just about impossible to tell apart. What better way for some creepy Belgian guy to promote a Utopian equality and common interest among his little blue creatures than by making them all look exactly the same?

8. Smurfette

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You might be thinking, "Well, what about Smurfette? She doesn't look anything like the others." Here's the thing, she's not even a real Smurf.

Smurfette's a capitalist tool. According to her Wikipedia page, Gargamel originally created Smurfette to stir up trouble in the village, and almost succeeded until Papa Smurf cast a counter-spell to make her like them.

Also, hey Gargamel, if you can make your own Smurfs, why the fuck are you still hunting them?

9. Azrael

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Azrael represents the misery of workers who does not embrace Marxist theory. He's a slave to capitalism. This cat worked his ass off for years and has nothing to show for it, save for the far-off dream of maybe getting a little trickle-down Smurf of his own someday.

If Gargamel ever actually caught a Smurf, why would he feel obligated to share the wealth? He literally OWNS Azrael. Never trust people with nose warts.

10. The Mouthpiece

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Ain't no party like a Communist party cause a Communist party's got an intellectual class injecting Marxist theory into the public consciousness to preserve the consolidation of the state's power.

Trotsky. The Vanguard Party. And now, Brainy Smurf, the smug little asshole who starts every sentences with, "Well, Papa Smurf always says..." or "Papa Smurf wouldn't like that..."

11. Nice Hat, Wanna Smurf?

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Whenever the Smurfs rose up and threw the shackles of capitalist oppression off their backs, they did so in style. It's called a phrygian hat and, believe it or not, it is the unofficial headwear of revolutionaries.

A long time ago, that hat came to represent freedom in Europe, as they thought it looked like the hats emancipated slaves wore in Ancient Rome. Seriously. Which also explains why Smurf-style hats were such a big deal during the French Revolution, too. Not kidding. In fact, those hats even appear on the coat of arms of Latin American countries that gained freedom by way of anti-colonial revolutions. No joke.

Look, just google it.

12. These Colors Don't Smurf

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So which Smurfs aren't required to rock those sad, white uniforms? The HSICs (Head Smurfs In Charge), that's who.

What did they go with instead?

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Red.

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And Yellow.

Which feels a little...

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Come on, doesn't another Smurf wear some color?

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Oh, right. The wide-eyed pink-o.

13. And Finally, The Man Himself

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Karl Marx straight-up looks like Papa Smurf, right? Case closed.