1.
Lacrosse is my favorite sport that combines looking like you're trying to catch a butterfly with having no friends
2.
Me: I think the coolest sport is horse golf Guy: do you mean polo? Me: [realizing he isn't classy enough to know about horse golf] yes
3.
The most impressive thing about Arsenal is how it's very nearly two bum words in one name.
4.
Why are they still playing? Ivory Coast got a Connect 4 already
5.
[walks up to guys playing basketball] "mind if I join?" you any good? Hell yeah I'm good. Toss me the orange sphere
6.
[a spider watching soccer when someone kicks a ball into the net] hell yeah, now eat it
7.
What a game that must have been!!
8.
ME: im nervous GIRLFRIEND: dont be M: what are some of his interests GF: he likes football [later] GF'S DAD: nice to meet u M: *tackles him*
9.
Sorry I embarrassed you when I tried to draft Smaug, but I totally misunderstood the concept of a Fantasy football league.
10.
*snail Olympics* How does it feel? "Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow? "What"
11.
So the NBA Finals, huh? So no more basketball ever again? Feels extreme but ok
12.
Greatest calls in golf history: "And the ball... is in... the hole." "He hit the ball in the hole." "The hole... that's where the ball is."
13.
I like when someone scores in football & then his mate runs up to the ball and kicks it into the net again as if to say 'YEAH!! Football!!!'
14.
Very happy to announce that i've renewed my contract with asda and will continue working weekends for the near future
15.
[team tryouts] Coach: You really knocked that one out of the park. Jimmy: Thanks Coach! Coach: This is tennis.
16.
I've ALWAYS said "A sport is not a sport unless you can play it while shitting."
17.
boy: i wished girls liked sports girl: i like sports boy: oh yeah name the blood type of the seahawks coach from the 1990s
18.
Friend: Dow dropped 45 points yesterday. Me: I don't follow basketball.
19.
*shows up to date with broken nose* "What happened?" Hurt myself playing football "How?" Threw the controller at a wall and it bounced back
20.
[son's football game] Other dad: which one's yours? Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over
21.
Marathon runner: I think we're lost. Why does that sign say Grand Canyon? Are you sure this is the right way? Lemming: Just trust me, ok?
22.
Him: How does my football throw look to you? Me: Like you're good at science...
23.
Gravity 0/5: Worst Space Jam sequel ever. Literally no basketball.
24.
"I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon".
25.
My girlfriend was devastated to find out that my mates call me ‘The Love Machine’ because I’m terrible at tennis.