22 Signs You're An Absolute Wino

"Excuse me, waiter? I'd like to order some wine to go with my wine please."

Posted on March 23, 2014, 22:49 GMT

Remee Tara Patel Community Contributor

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1. This is your daily affirmation:

2. To you, the screw-cap bottle is the most genius invention EVER.

Because let's face it...

3. When someone asks you what your wine preferences are, you're like:

4. For example, the colour...

5. ...or region.

6. You're not so fussed about glasses either.

7. Nothing is more annoying then when a waiter pours you a 'tasting' glass to check the wine you ordered.

8. And why do people even bother asking you if you want wine?

9. In fact, wine is the only reason you even attend social gatherings.

10. It's no surprise then, that you're always the first one to get shit-faced.

11. But you'd rather get wasted than EVER be in this situation:

12. When anyone comes over, for any amount of time, you're like

13. You're even willing to share your "good stuff."

14. You're always hell-bent on converting non-wine drinkers.

15. You usually attempt to achieve this by championing the various health benefits.

16. But then you ruin it all by telling a wino anecdote that only a fellow wino would understand.

17. You think you look like this when you drink wine:

18. But actually you look like this:

19. Your relationship with wine is exactly that. A relationship.

20. So naturally, wine gets the first invite to your pity parties.

21. You're often guilty of committing this faux pas:

22. But you're no stranger to faux pas in general, and that's OK.