1.When your mustache is SO regal that the woman threading your upper lip sweetly asks if it's your "first time."
2.And when threading your chin takes so long that you realize you've actually been rocking a full beard.
3.When a beauty parlour attendant takes one look at you in shock and exclaims, "INGROWTHS!"
4.When, during your pedicure, you're told you should probably wax your legs any century now.
5.When the person cutting your hair says they're only cutting off the "damaged" part, and then cuts off... All of it.
6.When, while getting your legs waxed, you're given a lecture on the dangers of shaving, and you almost die from guilt.
7.If you put on lotion the morning of your waxing appointment, you're told off for being too slippery...
8.And, if not, you get: "Aapka skin itna dryyyy kyun hai?"
9.When, mid-manicure, you're told that nail-cutting will be unnecessary because you bit them all down to the cuticles.
10.When the woman doing your eyebrows asks if you'd like to maintain the one you've got, or separate it into two.
11.When you leave the parlour post-threading with your face covered in terrifying bright red patches and get stared at by all and sundry.
12.When the person doing your hair alternates between telling you how much hair you have, and how much your hair falls.
13.When you realize that you've spent WAY TOO MUCH time, money, energy, and emotional strength on plucking, waxing, threading, and preening yourself to fit society's arbitrary standards of beauty...
14.And the tragic subsequent revelation that, despite knowing all that, you have no idea how to stop.
