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42 Very Important Questions

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1.

why do bugs fly in when you leave windows open? why not puppies? or money?

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

why do bugs fly in when you leave windows open?

why not puppies? or money?

3:54 PM - 24 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

2.

why are we obsessed with cats when turtles can literally hide inside their own bodies. turtles are the true inspiration.

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

why are we obsessed with cats when turtles can literally hide inside their own bodies. turtles are the true inspiration.

1:27 PM - 23 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

3.

why do chips with the ridges in them taste better than chips with no ridges

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

why do chips with the ridges in them taste better than chips with no ridges

4:55 PM - 04 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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4.

why are blueberries blue but when you smash them they are purple

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

why are blueberries blue but when you smash them they are purple

4:51 PM - 04 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

5.

6.

why does every chinese buffet just have a pile of hard boiled eggs under a heat lamp

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

why does every chinese buffet just have a pile of hard boiled eggs under a heat lamp

4:48 PM - 04 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

7.

instead of me buying plane tickets, why doesn't everybody lift me up and then flap your arms really hard

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

instead of me buying plane tickets, why doesn't everybody lift me up and then flap your arms really hard

2:51 PM - 30 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

8.

can someone explain to me why beyoncé hasn't updated her tumblr and yet there are 1,000 pictures of her and her braids just FLOATING AROUND

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

can someone explain to me why beyoncé hasn't updated her tumblr and yet there are 1,000 pictures of her and her braids just FLOATING AROUND

2:54 PM - 29 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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9.

why do families on TV eat pancake breakfasts together instead of passive aggressively eating pop tarts in separate rooms like the rest of us

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

why do families on TV eat pancake breakfasts together instead of passive aggressively eating pop tarts in separate rooms like the rest of us

1:06 PM - 18 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

10.

Why isn't there an iPhone-sized crevice in my body to store my iPhone

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

Why isn't there an iPhone-sized crevice in my body to store my iPhone

8:45 PM - 05 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

11.

12.

why is beyoncé wasting her time picking up babies? that baby can't appreciate you like i can.

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

why is beyoncé wasting her time picking up babies? that baby can't appreciate you like i can.

2:37 PM - 21 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

13.

WHY WOULD ANYBODY GO TO SPACE. LET'S LEARN FROM SANDRA BULLOCK AND BAN SPACE.

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

WHY WOULD ANYBODY GO TO SPACE. LET'S LEARN FROM SANDRA BULLOCK AND BAN SPACE.

8:16 PM - 02 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

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14.

why are we making solid foods taste like green tea

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

why are we making solid foods taste like green tea

5:00 PM - 04 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

15.

how about a bar that gives me drinks and also pugs to play with

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

how about a bar that gives me drinks and also pugs to play with

8:02 PM - 30 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

16.

do you think hot guys know how boring they are

17.

how is everyone supposed to know I'm having a dramatic moment if there's no camera to zoom in on my face

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

how is everyone supposed to know I'm having a dramatic moment if there's no camera to zoom in on my face

5:13 PM - 31 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

18.

how do we know a dog would make a bad president if we don't give one the chance

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

how do we know a dog would make a bad president if we don't give one the chance

11:22 AM - 27 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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19.

how am I supposed to dramatically end a phone call without a flip phone

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

how am I supposed to dramatically end a phone call without a flip phone

3:20 PM - 26 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

20.

how about a vending machine that pops out a waffle with butter and syrup

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

how about a vending machine that pops out a waffle with butter and syrup

3:23 PM - 22 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

21.

how am i supposed to dramatically whip a scarf around my neck and sashay away if it's hot outside

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

how am i supposed to dramatically whip a scarf around my neck and sashay away if it's hot outside

5:41 PM - 20 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

22.

how do they get peanut butter inside so many things when I can barely get it on a slice of bread

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

how do they get peanut butter inside so many things when I can barely get it on a slice of bread

4:24 PM - 18 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

23.

how early is too early to drink an entire bottle of wine at my desk

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

how early is too early to drink an entire bottle of wine at my desk

3:02 PM - 05 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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24.

how do you expect me to work when im expecting an amazon delivery

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

how do you expect me to work when im expecting an amazon delivery

11:23 AM - 24 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

25.

How do bunnies and baby chickens even become friends? Imagine a bunny and a chick becoming friends in the wild. YOU CANT.

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

How do bunnies and baby chickens even become friends?

Imagine a bunny and a chick becoming friends in the wild. YOU CANT.

12:06 PM - 20 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

26.

How soon after they play drunk in love do I have to wait to ask to play drunk in love.

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

How soon after they play drunk in love do I have to wait to ask to play drunk in love.

12:47 AM - 05 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

27.

how about i pay a restaurant $20 to just start pouring mimosas directly into my open mouth and not stop until I'm finished with my meal

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

how about i pay a restaurant $20 to just start pouring mimosas directly into my open mouth and not stop until I'm finished with my meal

5:07 PM - 25 Feb 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

28.

There was a piece of lettuce in the urinal, how did this happen?

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

There was a piece of lettuce in the urinal, how did this happen?

2:59 PM - 25 Sep 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

29.

how do the bachelors hide their erections on camera answer me that

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

how do the bachelors hide their erections on camera answer me that

8:52 PM - 29 Jul 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

30.

Also, if mermaids don't exist, how are we supposed to explain this picture? YOUR MOVE, BUREAUCRATS.

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

Also, if mermaids don't exist, how are we supposed to explain this picture? YOUR MOVE, BUREAUCRATS.

9:01 PM - 03 Jul 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

31.

A delivery man came up to my desk and said "You like Beyoncé, huh? I got her on Instagram." HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO THAT

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

A delivery man came up to my desk and said "You like Beyoncé, huh? I got her on Instagram."

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO THAT

11:56 AM - 03 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

32.

i don't understand people who pose for pictures in their underwear in public bathrooms WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE WHAT

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

i don't understand people who pose for pictures in their underwear in public bathrooms

WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES

WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE

WHAT

1:10 PM - 23 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

33.

If you don't like Dairy Queen, where do you even go to eat? What do you even live on?

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

If you don't like Dairy Queen, where do you even go to eat? What do you even live on?

3:02 PM - 04 Dec 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

34.

.@OfficialAdele where are you adele are you hurt

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

.@OfficialAdele where are you adele are you hurt

10:26 AM - 08 Oct 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

35.

I WILL GIVE HILLARY MY BLOOD. WHERE IS SHE?

36.

men who wear bandanas around their neck: WHAT ARE YOU HIDING

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

men who wear bandanas around their neck: WHAT ARE YOU HIDING

11:20 AM - 29 May 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

37.

what kind of monstrous restaurant makes you CALL to place a delivery order

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

what kind of monstrous restaurant makes you CALL to place a delivery order

1:00 PM - 03 Jun 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

38.

What about one of those ice machines attached to the fridge but instead of ice it's chicken nuggets

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

What about one of those ice machines attached to the fridge but instead of ice it's chicken nuggets

3:44 PM - 27 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

39.

what are you supposed to do when your electric toothbrush runs out of battery? use it like some kind of normal toothbrush? LIKE AN ANIMAL?!

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

what are you supposed to do when your electric toothbrush runs out of battery? use it like some kind of normal toothbrush? LIKE AN ANIMAL?!

11:14 AM - 08 Apr 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

40.

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE INTERNET IS DOWN? *TALK* TO EACH OTHER? I'D RATHER DIE.

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE INTERNET IS DOWN? *TALK* TO EACH OTHER? I'D RATHER DIE.

10:36 AM - 07 Jun 13ReplyRetweetFavorite

41.

What if Target gets me pregnant?! "How Target Knew a High School Girl Was Pregnant Before Her Parents Did http://t.co/sa1spce3 (@Techland)"

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

What if Target gets me pregnant?! "How Target Knew a High School Girl Was Pregnant Before Her Parents Did http://t.co/sa1spce3 (@Techland)"

9:05 PM - 19 Feb 12ReplyRetweetFavorite

42.

if you're not bringing me a cupcake, then what are you even doing with your life

Matt Bellassai@MattBellassai

if you're not bringing me a cupcake, then what are you even doing with your life

11:38 AM - 25 Mar 14ReplyRetweetFavorite

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