1. The educational.
2. The short and to the point.
3. The one that welcomes you to the universe.
4. The persistent.
5. The mathematically sound.
6. The one with exactly six actual English words in it.
7. The one that “promices” true friendship.
8. The multilingual music expert who just wants a “chanse.”
9. The well-mannered one that says “please” a lot.
Or “plz,” at the very least.
10. The one that attempts to demonstrate appropriate usage of the Oxford comma.
12. The poetic.
13. The one genuinely concerned about “wt hpnd u.”
14. The one who hasn’t ever met you but still believes you smell like rain. Sweet.
15. The “James” who thinks his name is “JOHN.”
16. The fashion-savvy.
17. The “Candy” who thinks his name is “Sandy,” but that’s the least of his problems…
18. And finally, the vaguely remorseful.
- A Pennsylvania judge has ordered Bill Cosby to face trial for a felony sex-assault case from 2004.
- Twitter will no longer count links, @names, and GIFs toward its 140-character limit. You can also retweet yourself now.
- The NFL released new Super Bowl locations. The next 5 are in Houston, Minnesota, Atlanta, South Florida, and L.A. 🏈