13. I will stop letting “out of sight, out of mind” be my philosophy towards friend who live more than five minutes away.
Will last until: The end of the first (and only) Skype session you have with a long-distance friend, thereby sating your guilt.
21. I will stop making romantic decisions based on the tiny part of my psyche that is a 12-year-old girl.
Will last until: A month and a half from now aka Feb. 14 aka the day you text every romantic prospect in your phonebook with a beautifully casual “Hey, you out tonight?”
23. I will stop using Emojis as a crutch to sustain the rapid decline in my ability to express sincere emotion.
Will last until: The next time you have to text someone flaking out of dinner plans and you remember how much easier it is to say “[1 billion heart Emojis]” than “I’m sorry and I really do consider you a dear friend and I hope I will be able to make it up to you soon.”