47 Reasons Women Are Swiping Left On Your Profile, As Confessed By Real Indian Women
For any dude who's ever asked, "What do women want?" Let's start with what we definitely don't.
1. Bad grammar.
2. Bad spelling.
3. The word "sapiosexual".
4. Standalone photos of cars or bikes. I didn't come here to bang a vehicle.
5. The word "wanderlust". And "globetrotter". And "dreamer" while we're at it.
6. Holding a DSLR in more than one photo.
7. "No sluts". Chal, bye.
8. Your salary in your bio.
9. Having ALL group photos. WHICH ONE ARE YOU?
10. ALL photos which obscure your face, implying it's a shit face.
11. Looking WILDLY different photo to photo. WHO ARE YOU?
12. A slideshow explaining what an amazing guy you are instead of actual fuckin' pictures.
13. Having a football club's name as your bio. Seriously? The most interesting fact about you is your allegiance to a sports team 4,000 miles away? Eh.
14. YOUR OWN WEDDING PHOTO. ON A DATING APP. BROOO!
15. Mirror selfies.
16. "Self employed at self" / "Works at Student" / "Founder/CEO at My Life Mah Rulz".
17. Biceps or abs with no face attached.
18. Seeming too attached to your abs or biceps.
19. "420 blaze it" as your entire bio. We get it. You smoke pot. But if that's the most interesting thing about you, we may have a problem.
20. "Looking for The One " NOOOOOOOPE.
21. No profile photo.
22. No bio.
23. Putting your BBM pin as your bio. This may have worked in 2009.
24. Having only one photo.
25. Having only travel photos.
26. Having only party photos.
27. Wearing sunglasses in every photo. (WHATCHOO HIDIN?)
28. Photos with captured wild animals.
29. Having "Swipe right if you want to know more" as your entire bio. I mean, that's a basic tutorial on how this app works.
30. "Here to make friends!!!" Why? That's a basic misunderstanding of how this app works.
31. A long list of generic adjectives, e.g. "Adventurous, outgoing, fun-loving." As a friend of mine put it, "WHO DOESN'T LOVE FUN?"
32. More than one selfie.
33. Wearing obnoxious slogans on T-shirts.
34. "I'm not like other guys."
35. Wrytin ur bio lyk dis.
36. Unnecessarily deep quotes. We're both on Tinder, it's 3:22 a.m., nobody needs Kant right now.
37. Photos taken over a giant range of years. Tell me how you look NOW though!
38. Being hundreds of miles away. I get it, you paid for Tinder Plus and can now swipe me from across the globe. BUT WHAT IS THE POINT, BOSS?
39. "Good listener, chivalrous, total gentleman." Nah, a total gentleman would brag a bit less.
40. Having a random celebrity as your profile picture. WUT? I know I'm not swiping right on Ranbir Kapoor.
41. That Shah Rukh Khan wala arms-outstretched pose at a touristy photo op.
42. Having a bio that's clearly from somewhere else, but not crediting it. Tsk tsk.
43. Lying about your age. You're CLEARLY 40+, what's this "28" doing here?
44. Hashtags. They serve no purpose on this platform, dude.
45. Being so hipster, it's intimidating.
46. Having too many mutual friends. I know this one isn't in your hands, my dudes. I'm sorry.
47. And, ironically, having too many requirements for the women you'd swipe right on will get you a solid swipe left. Oops.