30 Brilliant Life Improvement Tips From Tom Haverford
"Sometimes you gotta work a little... So you can ball a lot."
Always know how to make an entrance.
Line your shoes with red carpeting to lead a glamorous life.
Use your pop culture knowledge to seem like an expert on anything.
When life hands you lemons, take it as a cue to party.
Even when you're looking out for other people, remember to look out for yourself.
Devote one day every year to self-care.
And when that day comes, go all out.
Rebrand life to suit your needs.
Figure out a daily routine that works and stick to it.
... Even if it gets a bit repetitive.
Win every bet you ever partake in... By betting on every possible option.
Keep your vocabulary interesting.
Keep your friends organized in lists.
Use Beyoncé as a frame of reference to describe everything.
Hold on to a spirit of creative entrepreneurship.
If someone farts during a heart attack, cope by referring to their medical condition as a "fart attack."
Be willing to make sacrifices for the things you care about.
Streamline the dating process by having a comprehensive list of dating Oh No Nos.
Know your self worth.
Tweak your household appliances for maximum partying efficiency.
Install imaginary snooze buttons into anyone you find boring. Never be bored again.
Do what it takes to sparkle.
Have someone pre-instructed to clear your browser history in case of emergency.
Take a laid back professional approach.
Keep track of your friends.
Work a little, so you can ball a lot.
Never forget where you're from.
And don't be afraid to celebrate yourself.
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