10 Ridiculous "Star Wars" Facts You Can Only Learn From The Books

You can't unknow these. Sorry.

1. This guy's name is Lobot.

Via midlifegamer.net

He saved the damn day in "Empire." The least you can do is remember his name.

2. Luke gets laid. More than once.

Via images3.wikia.nocookie.net

This is Mara Jade. She's totally badass.

Via images4.wikia.nocookie.net

This is Callista. She's a computer ghost.

Via fanpop.com

This is Gaeriel Captison. Okay, there's no real proof they slept together, but they definitely wanted to.

3. The Emperor comes back to life (as a clone).

I mean, he was still alive in our hearts, anyway.

4. There's villain cooler than Darth Vader.

Via sideshowtoy.com

Meet Grand Admiral Thrawn. Ask him about his Ysalamiri.

5. Han Solo forcibly kidnaps Princess Leia. And she still marries him.

WTF

6. The Kessel Run actually makes sense.

Via thescifishow.com

It's a unit of time, not distance! Wired.com breaks it down here.

7. There are NO gay people. :(

There are in the video games, but some people aren't happy about it.

8. Boba Fett survives Sarlacc (!) and gets his own book.

Like a boss.

9. Oh my god, they killed Chewie!!!!!!!

A moon falls on him. I just.....

Via mimg.ugo.com

WAAAARGHGHGHHAAAAAGH

10. THEN THEY KILL A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE. LIKE A GEORGE R. R. MARTIN NOVEL.

I can't tell you who, because that's spoilers and you should read the books.