No, seriously, don't even try to sneak these past the Illinois Secretary of State. They have a list of 5,577 plates that won't hit the road in the state.
Tried Jeppson's Malort? It's a liquor that's been described as tasting like "driving through Gary, Indiana, in a convertible with your mouth open." This is what your face looks like afterward, dubbed "Malort Face." It's a Chicago thing.
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