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Success is relative

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1) I decide to go to be early so I'll be well rested and fresh in the morning

2) But first I have to pick out my perfect interview outfit

3) By trying on every button up shirt I own

4) DO ANY OF THESE not have pit stains

5) Embarrassment

6) How about a turtleneck?

7) Turtlenecks are still a thing right?

8) I look like I'm auditioning for a re-make of Annie Hall

9) I don't hate that...

10) Okay now time for bed

11) Have to set an alarm

12) Gonna get up early and have enough time to get a coffee, print out an extra resume, start a crossword...

13) I'll set 2 alarms

14) Sleep


16) Nope, nope, nope, nooooopppppeeee not gonna happen

17) Maybe I should watch an episode of Scandal?

18) Oh Damn you Olivia Pope for being so captivating

19) Can't...close...eyes...

20) God she's classy. I should practice saying "hello" again, but more convincing.

21) It's already 2AM?!?

22) This bed is soooooo hot, though. I straightened my hair. I CANNOT go to sleep sweaty.

23) I'll just take off one sock

24) THAT feels a-ma-zing...

25) I'll just take off the the other sock...

26) There are no more socks :(

27) Ok. Sleep timmmmmeee, crazy comfy cool feet sleep timeeeee

28) WAIT. wait wait wait. Turn that light back on.


33) I've been spending too much time on the Man Repeller...

34) Yawn, Let me roll over and check the alarm clock, I'm sure it's like 6:15 and I have plenty of time to create the perfect liquid line...

35) OR I turned off both my alarms and it is now 7:45

36) Tired me is such a bitch

37) I'M LATE.


39) NO

40) Not thoooooose pants

41) no nonoonononononononononononononooooo onononononononoo

42) FINE these pants.

43) FUCK YOU liquid line. I'll just do my makeup on the train

44) WHY DID I THINK I COULD DO THIS ON THE TRAIN?? Because I saw some girl on YouTube do it. That's why

45) RUN! Rungoodwomanrun!

46) Okay, but I have to get Starbucks first

47) Annndddd I spilled it on myself

48) Annnndddd WE ARE RUNNING

49) And we are taking the subway

50) Okay people, who did not put on deodorant?

51) (Did I put on deodorant??)

52) I'm here I'm here I'm here

53) I'm just going to catch my breath, right her in front of the security desk. I'm fine. No really I'm fine. I'M FINE

54) My bangs are literally stuck to my forehead. Can I pretend this was intentional?

55) I'm actually really trendy

56) Oh my god, I can literally see my finger marks on the resume I just handed to that girl

57) Wait is her name Lisa or Linda? Linda, Lisa, Lisa, Linda, Lisa??

58) It's Li.....s......a

59) Mrs......

60) Shit.

61) Isn't that girl going to offer me water? Where did she even go? I bet she is laughing at m greasy resume. WHEREEEE is she?

62) Oh there she is.

63) Oh I'm supposed to follow you.

64 Oh this is it.

65) Okay.

66) But, really, can I have some water?

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