Step 1. "Lose" your alarm clock.
Step 2. When your boss calls to wake you up, answer in a foreign language.
Step 3. Show up at noon wearing your favorite pair of sweatpants and band shirt.
Step 4. Have a pizza delivered to your desk and use the company card to pay
Step 5. Start an office limbo tournament.
Step 5. Use the blender in the break room to make margaritas for an "office happy hour"
Step 7. Remind a rude customer that no one likes an a** and ask them to come back when they can treat you with respect.
Step 8. Leave two hours early after letting your boss know that you're calling in sick tomorrow
And if you still have a job after all that... please contact me and let me know where you work because you have the best job ever!