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Cheering For Canada To Win In Hockey Is Like Cheering For...

This past week, Team Canada left with gold medals in both Men and Women's hockey. This would be amazing if they were not heavily favored to win. They had the superior team and it showed. Everyone thinks Canadians are so nice and so polite. But it is all a ruse. They are really ruthless and cold hearted. So for everyone who hates happy endings, underdogs, and all that is good, here is a list of other things you probably believe:

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That Danny kid completely cheated

Everyone who cheered for Canada boo-ed this moment.

Those sleek black uniforms (similar to Canada's) are the best! Plus that move is only legal if WE do it. Danny should have been disqualified, we don't mind winning that way.

Francis Buxton deserved Pee-Wee's bike!

Pictured: A Canadian's response to the claim that their team is filled with crybabies.

Canada is the best. We started this game so we own it and we don't want anyone to take it away from us. That's the best way to grow something... horde it.

Draco Malfoy was the real Boy Who Lived

After putting up with that jerk Harry Potter, Draco is the one who should be honored!

People think other teams might be better?! No Way! Look at us! No please. We need the attention to live. Don't stop looking at us.

Rose + Cal 4EVA

What a guy! Cal is rich and deserved to make it off the boat. Sure he hit Rose and was mean, but that's what it takes sometimes! Sure his winning would have ruined the movie more! But that doesn't matter. Being the first to be there is being the best. #thisisOURgame

Joffrey Lannister deserves to be king

Pictured: Joffrey this weekend.

Yes, cheering for Canada is the same as cheering for the Lannisters. The shifty group led by a punk-brat.

So pat yourselves on the back Canada. You're the Joffrey of the world.

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