As we age, it's natural to have a few regrets about the things we did when we were younger. So, to normalize this, I asked the BuzzFeed Community: "People over 60, share with us the things you wasted way too much time on in your 30s, 40s, and 50s." A lot of people provided vulnerable answers. Here's what they had to say:
1. "Building social status and shopping for 'things.' So many people were trying to climb the social ladder in the town I lived in. Having the 'right' friends, living in the right neighborhood, and acquiring the right stuff — better clothes, better cars, bigger houses. Spending more time socializing than with family, but guess who catches you when you fall? Family and true friends, not the people who you met trying to climb up. They will leave you in the dust with all of the things that really don’t mean anything."
2. "I wasted wayyyyy too much time trying to get ahead in my career. Women coming out of college in the '70s didn’t have a lot of job prospects. We were fed the '50s to '60s mantra that if you worked hard, took on extra work, and stayed late, you were sure to go up the corporate ladder. That may have worked for men, but definitely not for women at that time. I worked in a male-dominated field and had to do twice the work of men, 50-60 hour weeks, and I was constantly reminded that there were plenty of men who would like my job."
"After a long career of busting up against the glass ceiling, I found that it really wasn’t worth it. Times have changed quite a bit since then, but if I had to do it over again, I would choose a more balanced environment: one where I was respected for my skills and was doing something I really enjoyed.
Too many companies use and abuse their employees and toss them to the curb after their employees have burned out. Don’t waste your time. Be happy where you work. Life is too short to put up with spending most of your day being unhappy."
—Anonymous, 70, Texas
3. "Trying so hard to be friends with people who had no time or interest in being friends with me or only wanted my friendship when it was convenient for them."
4. "I spent way too much time people-pleasing. Being a caregiver for my parents at a very young age left me struggling for good coping skills as I grew older. The insecurity made me way too concerned about what others thought. The best part of getting older is not giving a crap about what anyone thinks!"
—Anonymous, 62, Illinois
5. "When I was younger, I wasted too much time worrying about whether a man liked me or not. My self-esteem was not very high, and I suspect I thought most men I liked were thinking about anything else besides me. Nowadays, I don't worry about whether a man likes me or not. If he likes me, he'll show it by wanting to be with me. It's now all about whether I find him interesting enough to want to be with him!"
6. "I was more competitive than being a team player. I understand more now about the collaborative power of a team. I should have shared knowledge and information with friends. That might have given me more friends and well-wishers in my college days."
7. "I wasted far too much time being angry with people who had betrayed me. I have since learned that what we give, we get back, and what we take, we pay for. In my senior years, I’m OK with that."
8. "Worrying what other people thought of me and thinking they were judging me. Trying to be the perfect wife, mother, employee, daughter, friend, etc. I should have relaxed and enjoyed life more rather than put these pressures on myself."
—Anonymous, 66, Illinois
9. "I regret spending so much time working and not going on a big overseas trip at least once a year. One can do it inexpensively, and the adventure and romance are something that you will always remember. Just study a few phrases before you go and arrange an initial hostel. Today, with the internet, it is so easy. When you get there, meet a few people and especially try to find a native person who can help you out, and you can even have a fling with them. People always say they will travel when they're older, but it is different."
10. "Don’t waste time being angry over something you can’t control. Don’t waste time on gossip or negativity. Don’t waste time blaming others or your childhood on present bad decisions, behavior, or situations."
11. "There is so much focus on physical perfection and ‘beauty' aimed at young women. As an older woman, when I look at old photos of myself and my friends, I realize how much time we spent worrying about perceived ‘imperfections’ and not appreciating how beautiful we all were! Now that I’m older, I wish I hadn’t wasted so much time feeding trivial insecurities and just enjoyed the privilege of being young and beautiful. I also realize that beauty is so much more than just physical attributes!"
12. "I just turned 73. In my 30s, I spent way too much time cleaning. I used to take a week’s vacation from work just to spring-clean the house!"
13. "Accumulating stuff. We recently moved and ended up getting rid of about 1/3 of our precious, precious crap. We needed to downsize so that drove most of the decluttering, but we began getting rid of things a few years before the move. It was really humbling and somewhat embarrassing to see how much useless stuff we had."
