Sometimes, friendship and money just don't mix, so when Reddit user u/tintaapple asked the r/AskWomen community: "What’s the stingiest thing a friend has done that made you question your friendship with them?" there were, unfortunately, a lot of stories that were shared. Here are a few of them below:
1. "When I was in high school, a girl I considered a close friend could not afford tickets to see a band we both loved. I saved my pocket money and got her a ticket to see them with me. She was so grateful she cried. BUT a few weeks later, she entered a radio competition to win tickets and meet the band, for her and a friend. She WON. She called me up and screamed excitedly down the phone, and I was super excited, too, because naturally, I assumed we were going together. She told me she was taking a different friend instead of me, and I could give the ticket I had bought for her to someone else. As a 14-year-old, this broke my heart. I would have given anything to have met that band. It was a long time before I did a favor like that for someone again."
2. "I invited my friend to go out for brunch, my treat. She agreed, and I was looking forward to having girl time with her. She later said her fiancé really wanted to come, too, and asked if I’d mind him joining us. He was weird and annoying, and now, instead of a girl hangout, I’d be third-wheeling with them, but I said, 'Alright. No problem.' We went, and as expected, her fiancé was getting on my nerves, but whatever. When the bill came, her fiancé who invited himself along didn’t make any move to pay or at least cover his portion, so I picked up the bill and paid for him, too. I guess that wasn’t good enough for him, because he complained that I tipped too much. His exact words were: 'That waitress is ugly. Ugly waitresses don’t deserve tips.'"
"My friend just sat there with this blank little smile on her face as this was happening. A few months after that happened, I heard from some other friends who went out for dinner with the couple. During this outing, he ate his entire meal, like cleaned his plate, not a bite left, then called the server over and said it was the worst food he’d ever eaten. Then, he demanded that the restaurant (a small family-run business) comp not only his meal, but also my now-former-friend’s meal, and their drinks.
She just sat by silently while her fiancé acted like a complete ass. Everyone else at the table was mortified. There were a few other similar incidents that led to us trying to have an intervention with the friend, but it became clear that she condoned his awful behavior and would stand by him no matter what.
She married him despite him being the dustiest, most broke, and most embarrassing man I’ve ever met. So, I guess it wasn’t really my friend who did something stingy, but her fiancé’s stinginess made me question my friendship with her."
3. "Not me personally, but my boyfriend’s best friend sent him a 100% serious Venmo request for $0.37 for a single shrimp after my boyfriend ate one while at dinner with friends."
4. "She bought us tickets as a Christmas present, then canceled on me last minute due to COVID (understandable), but encouraged me to go anyway and guilted me into buying both tickets from her because she wouldn't stop crying over the phone until I offered. It was at that point I realized that her crying and me fixing was a big theme. Turns out, she didn't even buy the tickets, her company did. I dropped her ass when I found out."
5. "I went to my local CVS and bought Valentine's Day gifts with my friend. She bought her boyfriend a gift; I bought one for mine, and we picked out some generic cards and candies for our close friends. We split the cost in half and split the change in half as well, and started walking home when she realized she had purchased fewer things than I did so she wanted more cash from me even though I had essentially zeroed out my extra bucks and coupons. She argued that I still spent more than she did and wanted me to give her back more change. 'Sure,' I said, 'let's do the math. You bought $10 worth of merch, I bought $20 worth, but then I used coupons totaling $15 so, actually, I only spent $5, so YOU owe ME some of that refund change.' I've never seen anyone angrier than her when she forked over the few dollars she had gotten back in change."
6. "A couple of months ago, I was out with a friend who I hadn’t seen in a while. The card machine at the place where we had dinner wasn’t working, so I paid cash for both of us and said, 'You can cover the drinks later.' We walked to a nearby bar and each had two drinks. We asked to pay (I didn’t immediately get my wallet out because I assumed she was paying), and she just awkwardly asked for separate bills. And it was less than the dinner bill. A few days later, she invited me to a nightclub with another friend. The third friend pays for the first round of drinks. I paid for the second round of drinks. When it came time to pay for the third round, my friend just looked away and pretended she didn’t see the bartender. LOL. So, we paid again."
"Things like this happened a few times with this friend. I became more diligent about asking for my money back the last time we met. She seemed quite annoyed with that and has barely messaged me since. I think it’s time to cut her off for good since I know how greedy she is now and that it's not just forgetfulness."
7. "A childhood friend asked to go to a concert together (it was her first concert ever). I paid for travel, food, hotel room, and even drinks at the event. It kind of bothered me that she never offered to pay her half, but I was doing much better financially than her so I didn't push. Once we got back to my home after the concert, she refused to leave until I rotated her tires for her. It made me realize what a self-absorbed user she was. I dropped her after that."
8. "I had a friend who wanted to come to see me and spend some time together, but she could only afford the plane ride. Cool, stay at my house, and since I didn't have to fly, I paid for all sorts of things to do while she would be here. She gets here with a 'friend' and basically turned me into a third wheel. She used the trip to cheat on her husband, and we didn't do any of the things we had planned out. She got mad at me for saying her guy friend couldn't stay in my house, so I told her husband and dropped her as a friend. Looking back, I realized she was just using me as emotional support, and that she didn't actually care about me at all."
"Tickets to her favorite band, tickets to a few different clubs, a city tour, and sip, etc. I used my vacation and my money, and she wasted my time. Fuck her. She wanted me to gift her all the stuff, but I decided to donate it all to single moms on my local 'buy nothing' page and then spent the week with my husband lounging around."
9. "I went on a double date. My husband offered to pick them up because parking in New Orleans can be a pain in the ass. We went to a very nice steak place. It was pricey, but we knew that going into it. Our bill was $450 for the four of us. My husband and her date decided to split it right down the middle since we all basically got the same thing, save for a few drinks. She whipped out the calculator and started dividing up the bill down to the penny and tried to justify it by saying she didn’t want to pay for something that wasn’t hers. So, as a direct clap back, I told her we needed 35 for parking and fuel, and 20 for the drink we paid for at the bar while we waited for our table."
10. "My best friend is so cheap; she'll only go out for lunch if I pay. The last time we were out and about Christmas shopping, she suggested we have lunch because she was starving. We stopped at a restaurant; I went through the line first and only paid for my lunch. I knew she was going to try to make me pay for hers, too, but I was already filling my drink, and finding us somewhere to sit. That was November; it's now July, and we haven't gone out for lunch since."
11. "I had a friend who would organize ‘girls' dinner,’ order a ton of appetizers and expensive drinks, and just as the bill was about to come, she would complain about her money troubles. The messed up part was that her friends were so used to this, that they just covered her portion, leaving me to be the asshole for not wanting to. I started to bring cash only and then stopped going altogether. It said a lot about her as a person, a very casual but calculating user."
12. "I was always that friend who, if I wanted to do something and my friends couldn't afford to, I would pay, and they would either pay me back or pay for us both next time. One friend I paid for countless times, and she paid for me once or twice. I didn't mind because I knew her situation wasn't good, and I wasn't dropping $100s — just $20 here or there. I recently got really sick and had to leave my job. I ran through my worker's disability and my savings. Now, I have nothing. This same friend wanted to go to dinner and the movies at a place where you eat dinner while watching the movie, and I told her I had no money, so I couldn't. She said she'd pay for me, so I agreed, and we set a date."
"It rolled around, and we went to the theater. She walked up to the counter and was like, 'Yes ONE ticket to Guardians of the Galaxy 3, please.' I almost broke down crying in the lobby. I spent my last $50 at that movie/dinner, and I now have $0.46 in my bank account and don't have any idea when I'll be getting any money."
13. "I had accidentally left my wallet at a 'friend’s' house when I was in high school. She gave it back to me at school the next day, minus the petty cash that was in it. I asked her what happened to it, and she just looked at me stupidly and lied to my face about not having even gone through it. I just was like, okay, and that was the end of that friendship."
14. "She knew my husband would be paying, so she decided to order sushi as her appetizer, lobster, and then filet mignon. Keep in mind this is a five-star restaurant. She ordered a $25 drink, took one sip, said it was bad, and then ordered a different $25 drink. We had already ordered plenty of sides and appetizers for the table to share. I know for a FACT she wouldn’t have ordered that much food if she knew she had to pay. She never offers to pay, not even once in my life."
15. I went on a weekend bachelorette trip to Dallas with four or five girls. (I really got along with and liked all of them before this event.) My idea of a bachelorette party is the bride should not be expected to pay for anything or very little, considering it is her last hoo-rah, and that there were four or five of us to split the costs of everything. Apparently, NONE of the other bridesmaids felt that same way, INCLUDING the Maid of Honor who was the bride’s little sister. Meal after meal, drinks after drinks, I would sit awkwardly in silence just to see if anyone else would pick up the bride’s tab. No one EVER did. I paid for ALL of our Ubers for two days and two nights. I picked up probably 75% of the bride’s food and drinks (she would pay for herself when no one volunteered)."
16. "My friend of 47 years, we live far apart and only visit about once a year. I was visiting her in California, and she took me to a wine tasting. I am not into wine, but I decided to go with her as it's something she is really into. We go to some really cute places, and I am having fun just seeing the sights and walking around all the shops. We went into a nice wine place where we sampled some wines, and there was one I actually liked. So, she ordered a bottle; it was smaller than a regular bottle of wine and cost her $40. I was like WHOA, but she has money, and she knows wine so whatever. We get back to her place, and she pours herself a glass of her newly bought wine and pours me a glass of the wine I liked."
"That glass knocked me out; it was like a sleeping pill, so I went to bed soon after. The next day, I was packing to leave, and she goes: 'I don't drink that kind of wine, and I have no need for it, so can you just give me the $40, and I will pack the rest of it up for you to take with you.'
I just stood trying to comprehend what she just said. I am non-confrontational, and I really had no words so I agreed. I gave her the money, and she packed the bottle in the special wine bag. I would have never spent that kind of money on wine. I still am in shock on that one.
There have been other times, like always choosing expensive restaurants, where I will just order stuff off the appetizer menu and water, while she ordered four courses, yet she asked to split the bill 50/50. One year on my birthday, I got to actually pick the place that was reasonably priced, but she kept ordering birthday shots."
17. "I asked a friend and her husband to go on a weekend trip. They picked and booked the Airbnb, which had a separate mother-in-law 'space' that was in a separate building the size of one of those cute garden sheds. They had the main gorgeous house; I had a loft bed I had to climb a ladder into and no window shades. To be honest, I was fine with it until at the end of the trip, they charged me half the Airbnb cost. I'm never staying somewhere with them again."
18. "Living with my friend at her first house was making our friendship sour, so I decided to move to a more convenient location and gave notice. She made me pay full rent up to the notice period once I moved out (so I was paying double rent). My friends said that it was a stink move on her part, but it was her house, and I got that she had to pay her mortgage, so I wasn’t fussed. It was in the agreement. Months and months later, I found out that she didn’t even replace me as a tenant (and was also going on multiple, expensive trips), so she didn’t actually need the rent money but still made me pay, knowing that I was struggling to pay double rent with my low-paying job."
19. "She said she was short on her rent and asked me to borrow 50 bucks, which at the time was a non-insignificant amount considering we were broke-ass students. She seemed to be needing it, so I gave it to her with the promise of it being paid back eventually. I gave her the money, and 10 minutes later, she told me about her plans to gift her recently acquired boyfriend a little vacation. She had just found a nice Airbnb for 50 bucks a night. Weird, I thought. It seems to me like I’m the one gifting you guys a vacation. But she’s going to pay me back, right?"
