I Tried These 6 Sleep Doctor-Approved "Bedtime Routine" Habits After A Year Of Restless Sleep, And I No Longer Wake Up In The Middle Of The Night

The results were some of the most deep and consistent sleep I've had in months.

Hello! My name is Raven, and I have a hard time sleeping throughout the night.

Raven Ishak

While this wasn't always the case in my life, my sleep schedule really changed last year during the COVID-19 pandemic, with me waking up at 3 a.m. and staying up for hours most nights. And I'm not the only one. According to a 2021 study that involved about 54,000 participants from 13 countries, it was determined that 40% of people from the general and healthcare populations have been affected too.

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Just to show contrast and in no way meaning to brag (because everyone's sleeping schedules are different), prior to 2021, I would get around 7–9 hours of rest almost every night — minus the every now and then middle-of-the-night coffee jitters that would linger if I'd have a cup of joe past 2 p.m. (Yes, I know, I'm extremely sensitive to caffeine.)

This sleep schedule was helpful because, for some reason, my body refuses to fully function with less than seven hours of sleep. While I know some people can — or have to — function on little sleep (hello, parents), it feels like my brain short-wires when I consistently get less than seven hours. You know, similar to when someone in a movie destroys a computer with a bat for a ~dramatic effect~.

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And since I can't have coffee every day to help me combat my less-than-stellar nights (and matcha can only go so far), it's been a struggle for the past year-ish.

I should also preface that I don't have any children, I have a roof over my head, and I don't live with chronic pain — so I completely understand that I'm talking about a "good night's rest" from a place of privilege. However, I do live with generalized anxiety, which also impacts my sleep from time to time TBH. (A clear mind with not ever overthinking everything in sight? I don't know her.) And like a lot of Americans, I experienced a heavy amount of burnout during COVID because of work.

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After about a year of having disruptive sleep, I wanted to connect with a sleep expert to see exactly how I can fix this problem, why it might be happening in the first place, and why everyone's sleep schedules are kind of messed right now. So I reached out to Dr. Jade Wu, PhD and behavioral sleep medicine specialist.

Courtesy of Jade Wu / Via jadewuphd.com

And since a lot of people have been experiencing sleep issues as of late, I wanted to share some of the tips, advice, and habits Dr. Wu shared with me — so you, too, can incorporate the below tips into your life to see if they might help with sleep. (And spoiler: I'm happy to report that some habits did work for me — and resulted in some of the most deep and consistent sleep I've had in months.)

So without further ado, let's sleep talk — ahem — I mean talk sleep. Put on your comfiest pajamas, grab your favorite night cap (hot cocoa counts), and put on some white noise.

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(Also: This article is not to replace seeing a medical professional or a sleep specialist. Sleep issues are so specific to each individual person and could also indicate that there might be more underlying issues at hand.)

To begin my journey to better sleep, I wanted a clearer understanding of what was even considered "good-quality sleep," so Dr. Wu started off by explaining exactly that.

Luis Alvarez / Via Getty Images

"Good-quality sleep looks different for everybody," she began. "The very broad definition is [the kind of] sleep that is nourishing for your body and enough for your body."

Generally, Dr. Wu explained, this looks like a "normal sleep architecture." "[This means] you're getting approximately the right proportion of deep sleep versus light sleep versus REM sleep, and the vast majority of your sleep is happening at night, instead of during the day or broken up into chunks," she said.

She added: "It's [a type of] sleep that might not feel refreshing right away when you wake up, but generally, you should be able to function well during the day, and not be super sleepy (i.e., accidentally dozing off — this would mean that you're not getting good-quality sleep at night)."

While I didn't find myself falling asleep during Zoom meetings, I was experiencing a huge dip in my energy levels, brain fog, lack of focus, and was even taking naps on a more regular basis during the weekends (which is very hard for me to do with my anxiety-ridden mind).

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But even though these things meant my sleep quality might have been poor, I wanted to know why some people tend to wake up at 3 a.m. in the first place — and apparently, Dr. Wu said it's more biological and common than you think. (If you google this, around 6 million results pop up.)

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"That being said, it is very common to wake up at about 3-ish plus or minus, depending on the person's timing of sleep and rhythms," she said. 

Why? Because "before, in pre-industrial times, and still in some parts of the world today, people just wake up at 3 and pray, do chores, or socialize," Dr. Wu explained. 

"Biologically speaking, the first half of the night is more slowly, non-REM sleep. And the second half of the night is more REM sleep. And those are two kinds of qualitatively different chunks of the night that are pretty common to be separated by a kind of an interruption in the middle."

Dr. Wu added: "Adenosine is the chemical that accumulates in the brain the more you're awake — and that accumulation of adenosine is what drives the first half of the night. By the middle of the night, it switches gears over to your circadian rhythm that drives the second half of the night, where you run low on adenosine — but it's still night."

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"So your body's like, 'OK, we know it's not daytime yet, so let's keep going.' And it's your circadian clock that says, 'It's still nighttime, so let's keep sleeping.' But as we're switching gears, there could be a 'dropping of the baton' kind of thing right in the middle. And so it's very normal to wake up at 3 a.m. or so and be awake for a little while."

Even though this was great news to hear, my body wasn't happy with me waking up every single night (especially when I didn't have — honestly, want — to socialize with anyone or do chores). And when I inquired about this to Dr. Wu, she explained how the nuances of the pandemic might be the cause of some sleep issues.

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"We're experiencing two years' worth of anxiety, cabin fever, and uncertainty due to a pandemic," she said. "We also haven't had as much social interaction, nutrition, hydration, or exercise that our body and mind need — or, this is actually the most common thing, the [same] amount of light exposure."

And that's when everything clicked. Like a lot of people, the majority of my time in 2021 and 2022 was spent indoors with little to no time outdoors. The same was true with face-to-face interactions other than with my fiancé, or the occasional outdoor family/friend meet-up — and the latter only occurred when I received the vaccine in April 2021.

This new "lifestyle" most likely meant I wasn't getting enough light, exercise, and social interactions. Plus, with everything else that was going on in the world, I was stressed out of my mind.

Raven Ishak

So I asked Dr. Wu, "What are some habits someone can do to help them sleep throughout the night more?" and she provided the list below:

1) Take morning or early afternoon walks.

2) Engage in good rest throughout the day (scrolling on social media or watching TV or movies all day don't count).

3) Use a light box if you can't go outside.

4) Change your perspective about waking up in the middle of the night.

5) Make sure your sleep environment is ideal for, well, sleeping (i.e., comfortable temperature, little-to-no light, minimal noise, etc.).

6) Wake up and go to bed at the same time every day (even during the weekends). (Editor's note: This was something I was already doing, so I won't include it as part of the "new habits" list.)

And Dr. Wu said it could take a couple of weeks to truly see changes in my sleep schedule if I'm doing the majority of these things. I decided to slowly add each of these tips into my daily routine for the span of about two weeks to see if I would notice a difference in my sleep (spoiler — I did!).

Raven Ishak

The one thing I wanted to make sure of during this process was to try as much as possible to ~organically~ incorporate these new habits into my routine, rather than doing all five of them right from the start and eventually feeling burnt out or overwhelmed — and this seemed to work best for me. 

However, if you find that you can (and prefer) to go from 0 to 60 on building new habits — then go for it! Do what works best for you and not based on what works for others. 

Habit #1: Changing my perspective about waking up in the middle of the night.

Raven Ishak

Since I knew it was going to take me a bit of time to sleep through the night (if it was even possible), I wanted to work on this habit first.

According to Dr. Wu, if you're waking up in the middle of the night and feeling frustrated or angry that you can't go back to sleep, you'll most likely feel more tired than if you wake up and feel relaxed and understanding about the cards you've been dealt. 

This is because it's exhausting to be frustrated and angsty, Dr. Wu explained, which will make you not only not feel good about the next day, but your mind can also begin associating waking up with not feeling good. 

So for the first few nights of waking up at 3 a.m., I tried to convert my frustrated thoughts into happy thoughts. (Basically, I was trying to trick my mind into believing that there was absolutely nothing wrong with waking up in the middle of the night.) To be honest, it felt like complete BS when I first started it — but somehow, it ended up working after a few days.

Raven Ishak

Essentially, I was finding a new way to be kind to myself during a time when I didn't realize I was being mean or unfair, which altered how I was viewing the situation. Some of the things I was telling myself were:

• "Don't get mad that you're up; try to view this time as 'me time.'"

• "My brain is wired this way for some reason — and that's OK. Try to just focus on your breathing so you can go back to sleep."

• "Just because you're awake now doesn't mean you're going to have a hard time tomorrow."

These phrases helped me not to ruminate on my frustrated thoughts. Also, with this new habit, I felt like I was able to go to sleep a lot faster, rather than being up for an hour or two in the middle of the night, wondering when my brain was going to be tired or less anxious again. 

Also, for extra good measure, I placed my phone across the room on my beauty stand so I didn't reach for it in the middle of the night to scroll on social media.

Raven Ishak

Not going to lie: Not being able to reach for my phone in the middle of the night felt a lot like I was sleep training myself — and as a woman who is in her 30s, this was not a feeling I was expecting to deal with. 

However, it was probably one of the best things I could have done to stop me from staying up even longer when I was having trouble shutting my brain off. 

Habit #2: Taking walks during the day.

Raven Ishak

This was probably one of the harder habits to incorporate into my daily routine because of how cold it was in New York during this time (as shown above), and the fact that I'm a true homebody — but it was one of the most rewarding.

To reap the most benefits, Dr. Wu said to take a walk for about 20 minutes or so as often as you can, and if you can choose, go for a morning walk rather than an after-work walk, since the sun is higher in the sky during that time. 

Of course, it's important to mention that this tip is for people who are currently working from home — so if you're already commuting to work, then this tip is already incorporated into your daily routine.

As for me, I really enjoyed adding this tip into my routine. A few times during the week, I would walk in the morning to grab a matcha and even made sure to hang outside a bit to make sure I was absorbing the sun's rays and vitamin D (which can also help with sleep regulation). After a few times doing this, I felt happier, calmer, and started to notice a change in my sleep. Prior to this, I would take walks around my neighborhood's park, but I didn't do them as often as I should, especially during the wintertime.

Raven Ishak

But why are morning walks/constant light exposure good for you in the first place? According to Dr. Wu, "The amount of contrast between how much light you're getting during the day, and how much light you're getting at night plays a big role in your circadian rhythm and in how well you sleep."

"If you're getting light exposure during the day, you're going to sleep better at night, wake up less often, and feel better during the day too," she said. So basically the last thing you want to do is be cooped up in your house all day (which is what I do).

And this is especially true if you're on your phone all day too. "When you're on your iPad or watching stuff on your phone late at night, the curve is flattened between day versus night," Dr. Wu said. "Your brain can't tell the difference between day and night that well, and it gets confused. You're then unable to sleep very well at night, which won't make you feel good during the day."

Habit #3: Use a light box.

Raven Ishak

For this particular new habit, I was lucky that I already had access to a light box — I had just never used it before. So on those winter days when it was too snowy to walk outside, or truthfully, when my laziness kicked in, I whipped this light box out in the morning and let it indirectly shine on me (as instructed by the directions and Dr. Wu) for 20 minutes to an hour — and now I know what my elementary school's newborn baby chicken felt like when it was being incubated: like a brand-new bird — ahem — person.

This is probably because I am prone to experiencing SAD (seasonal affective disorder), too, which is a type of depression that is caused by certain seasonal changes (i.e., winter and fall) and less light. And since a lot of people have been indoors during the pandemic, therapy light boxes can be used to combat similar symptoms (i.e., sleep issues, low energy, etc.) due to its strong light that's supposed to mimic outdoor light. 

BTW, if you go this route, it's recommended that your therapy light emits about 10,000 lux for the best results.

So after using this a few times during the week, I felt slightly more alert in the morning, which probably helped correct my circadian rhythm issues. (But could it also have been a placebo effect? Sure!) Either way, I appreciated this little device for what it was able to provide to my sleep schedule, because this is when I started noticing the gap to my 3 a.m. wake-up times closing in.

Raven Ishak

Now, I wouldn't say that a light box completely replaces those fancy morning walks because exercise + sunlight = happiness. However, this device is a great substitute for those times when you need an extra boost. Also, light boxes are great for individuals who live with chronic pain or who are unable to go outside and walk for long periods of time. Just make sure to consult with your doctor before using.

Habit #4: Get deep (screen-free!) rest throughout the day.

Raven Ishak

If there's one habit I knew I was going to have a really hard time with, it was going to be the "deep rest" one. Why? Well, I'm so glad you asked: Since I tend to lean on the side of all things anxiety, I have a hard time resting during the weekends. 

This means you can most likely find me cleaning my house, going grocery shopping, catching up on productivity YouTube channels, scrolling on social media for an embarrassingly long amount of time, and catching up with friends on the phone. Rest? Again. I don't know her. 

And since you may think that staying busy during the day will give you the ultimate shut-eye at night, Dr. Wu says that's not quite the case. "Sometimes people are like, 'OK, if I go really hard during the day, like physically and mentally, and always keep busy, then that means I'll get more tired and sleep better at night.' And to some extent, that's true," she said. "But if you never get a chance to rest during the day, then you're just hyping up your body and mind, and you're going to hyper-arousal mode."

And without any surprise, this includes being on social media all day, even on the weekends. Because when you're "distracted" or busy all day, Dr. Wu said then the thoughts that are swirling around in your head are pent up there until you go to sleep, which is when they can finally be released. "When you do wake up during the night, it's more likely those thoughts will be like, Oh, now it's our turn. I've been waiting patiently all day to get your attention. But you've been busy — and now there's nothing to distract you." (To say I felt attacked by this was an understatement.)

Raven Ishak

The good news is this is something I've been actively trying to stop — because hustle culture, especially during the weekends, is not worth your mental health. So Dr. Wu provided some ways to engage in deep rest. And even if you can only do these things for 30 minutes a day, that's better than nothing.

• Taking a very brief nap, like a 20-minute nap, if you feel sleepy.

• Drawing or another similar hobby.

• Having a hot beverage and not scrolling social media.

• Reading.

• Basically anything that doesn't involve a screen and multitasking. 

So for some nights after work and most weekends, I tried to engage in some variation of deep rest as much as possible, whether it was taking long baths, reading a book, taking a nap (and not feeling guilty about it), or sitting in the sun while I drank a cup of tea.

Raven Ishak

And while all of these things helped me to settle down, I saw the biggest improvement when it came to my "brain noise" when I implemented "no social Sundays."

This meant I either put my phone away in a drawer or just kept it out of sight for the whole day so I didn't go on Instagram or Twitter. And no joke, after just one day of unplugging, I felt less stressed and anxious, and calmer and rested overall. 

This was especially true when I was going to bed and didn't have an urge to reach for my phone one last time before heading to bed. It felt like I was starting the first half of my sleep on a more restful note rather than feeling "restful" for the first time when I hit my head on the pillow. While all the habits are amazing, this is one I plan to stick with every single weekend, no matter what. 

Habit #5: Improve your sleep environment.

Raven Ishak

When I asked Dr. Wu what was considered "good sleep hygiene," she emphasized that in addition to having a consistent wake-up and bedtime, people should also be aware of how/if their sleep environment is impacting their sleep. "A sleep environment shouldn't interrupt sleep too much with loud noises, bright lights, or extreme temperatures," she said. 

As for my sleep environment (shown above), I knew something was off — I just couldn't put my finger on it. Was it too hot? Too cold? Was I secretly being impacted by light pollution? Who knew — but I needed to get to the bottom of it. 

However, trying to figure out exactly what was affecting my slumber would take some patience and detective work. "If you feel like you didn't sleep, it can be hard to tell if it's because your dog was bothering you, for example, or if it was something else." But she explained if you've pretty much crossed those sleep hygiene things off the list one by one, you can slowly figure it out. "For instance, if you're not waking up in a pool of sweat, then it's probably not too hot. Or maybe you tried having your dog sleep in his own bed on the floor, and you're still not sleeping — well, then you've eliminated that," she said.

Raven Ishak

So when it came time to investigate what exactly was going on with my bedroom and how it was impacting my sleep, I decided to slowly check off a few things as the nights went on — and over time, I discovered the below points:

• My room doesn't have centralized heating or AC, so it can easily get too hot and/or too cold (which was often indicated by me waking up sweaty or freezing). 

• Light pollution couldn't have been a problem because we already had black-out curtains and I usually sleep with an eye mask on to block out the light even more. 

• While outdoor noise wasn't an issue on most nights (although my neighborhood can get loud during the weekends), I did have a lot of trouble sleeping at night when I didn't fall asleep with white noise or a fan on.  

• My pillow wasn't supporting my head and neck as well as I thought it was. There were a lot of mornings when I would wake up and find my shoulders and neck were stiff. 

So I adjusted everything I could to create the ideal sleeping environment for the following week. I opened one of my bedroom's windows just enough to let the right amount of cool air in. I also opened one of the kitchen windows that was across the apartment so we could get a nice cross breeze.

Raven Ishak

Next, I made sure to play white noise every night in addition to having the fan on so I could still sleep through the night just in case the noise from the app turned off. Finally, I tried a couple of new pillows: One was made for back and side sleepers, and the other one was plushier than my old pillow to help get better support. While I don't think either of these is the right pillow for me, they did support my neck and head a little more — so I still say it's a win in my books. 

And the results? Probably some of the most deep and consistent sleep I've had in months. I know it doesn't sound like a long time, but for me, receiving about a week's worth of undisruptive rest completely altered my state of mind to the point that I was experiencing a feeling of happiness I haven't felt in a long, long time.

Raven Ishak

But as you can see from the rest of how February went, things are still not perfect — and that's OK. With everything that is going on in the world and with my own relationship with anxiety, I know it's going to take time to truly improve my sleep. And if you're experiencing something similar after trying to implement certain new habits, Dr. Wu suggests it might be time to talk with a medical professional to better understand what is going on. 

"If you're having a lot of persistent trouble falling or staying asleep, and you feel like you've checked off your sleep hygiene, have a general good exercise routine, are pretty consistent with the timing of your sleep, but you're still taking a long time to fall asleep, or you wake up during the night and it takes you a long time to get back to sleep — then that's a good reason to look into more help and more broadly, just anything that is really bothering you about your sleep, especially if it's been happening for a few weeks, months, or even years," she said.

At the end of the day, it's important to remember to be kind to yourself during this process, since it might take time to get your sleep back on track. Because in the end, we can only do the best with what we have — so, for me, I'm going to keep trying until things feel right and good again.

Do you have issues sleeping at night? Have you recently discovered the best way to get a full night's rest? Let me know in the comments below.