Note: This post contains mentions of rape and disordered eating.
When it comes to dating, it can be really difficult to find an authentic connection with someone. And even though dating apps have made it easier to connect with others across the world doesn't mean it has made dating, well, any easier.
That's why u/GlumMathematician884 asked the r/AskWomen subreddit, "What is a question you’ve been asked which made you immediately 'unmatch' a potential date on an app?"
And the responses delivered with plenty of ridiculous questions and comments — all of which will make your eyes roll down a hill and off a cliff. Here are some of the answers below.
1. "I was talking about having a shitty day at work and he was like, 'Well, even a working woman can be attractive, I guess.' Like... what?"
3. "I'm fat, but workout regularly, and my Tinder profile reflected this, including: 'I've lost a significant amount of weight and will keep losing, so if big girls are your thing, swipe left.' So many men messaged me with: 'Have you ever had someone like me hit on you before?' Or 'Man, I bet you weren't expecting me to swipe right?' Or 'So, I know you're insecure about your weight, but is it weird that you turn me on?' Un. Fucking. Matched."
4. “'I’m looking to get married and have kids as soon as possible. Would you be ok with being pregnant in the next few months and getting married down the road?' And that is a direct quote."
5. "Racial fetishist comments, such as 'I've never been with a Black woman before,' 'You're pretty FOR a Black woman,' 'We'd make some cute mixed babies,' etc."
6. "When they quiz me on my interests. I welcome discussions and debates in good faith, but I have no patience for condescending men who immediately go on a very slimy 'I'm just joking' kind of warpath and start shooting obscure questions like: 'Oh, do you really like this band or do you just think the guitarist is cute? Haha. Name the song they played during concert number X while they were on the Y tour in 2001?' 'Oh, you like Naruto? Haha. I never see girls who like anime. Haha. So tell me: What do you think about his fight with Goku? haha. I'm kidding.'"
8. "'Wow, you're so tall. Is that really your height?' Yup, that's why I put it on my profile and if you don't trust that, move along. You are probably one who will hyperfocus on it."
9. "'Why won't you take my last name if we get married?' There was a similar question that OkCupid asked, and I answered that I wouldn't be changing my last name again and this was very important to me. I was amazed at the number of guys who wanted to discuss this IMMEDIATELY. Like, dude, shouldn't we get coffee first and see whether or not we even like each other before worrying about marital name changes?"
"I would always reassure the guy that if us having different last names bothered him that much, he was more than welcomed to take my last name." —u/Ms_Rarity
10. "On my dating app, my sexuality is listed as 'bisexual.' One guy's pick-up line was: 'Am I man enough to straighten you out?'"
12. "'I appreciate your honesty with your unfiltered photos. All girls abuse Photoshop and filters.' I kind of felt his women-bashing undertone but I tried to empathize with the difficulty of seeing people accurately online, so I responded with, 'I am just not into makeup or filters, but I understand you — many men use photos that are too pixelated, dark, or filtered, so I also appreciate your unfiltered and clear photos.' He got offended and unmatched me."
13. "He argued with me because I said, 'I don't like being sweaty.' He got offended saying that I was 'putting people down for a natural occurrence.' My period is also natural, that doesn't mean I enjoy it."
14. "The topic of Bitcoin/cryptocurrency came up. They asked if I knew about it. I said, 'Yes.' They replied with, 'But you’re a woman — why do you know about crypto?'”
15. "Once or twice, people would say something and then if I didn’t respond fast enough, they would say something like 'Should I just unmatch you then?' It showed they would take a small piece of information (i.e. my delayed response) as indicative of something sinister and then act on it as if it was a given that I had bad intent, which I saw as a red flag for forming a healthy relationship."
16. "Some guys asked if I have anorexia. It doesn’t happen often — but it's enough for it to be memorable. And then some say, 'Oh, lol sorry. You should eat more.'"
17. "I got asked, 'What's your relationship with your dad like?' Come on, man. What do you expect from this?"
18. "Any question or comment regarding my pubic hair. I don't feel like informing people how I keep my pubes. Also, fetishizing me for being a redhead/ginger. No man. It's not a good look."
"It's fine to have preferences; it's fine to say, 'Oh, I dig your hair' or whatever. It's the 'I've never had sex with a redhead before, are the rumors true?' Being just a tick on someone's bucket list is the issue." —u/LittlePurrx
19. "I've gotten a few openers that were like: 'Yeah, you're cute but can you hold a conversation?' or ones of that nature. It's an immediate nope."
20. "For context, I'm a trans woman, and I put that information in my profile for safety reasons. I get asked all kinds of 'wonderful' things: 'Are you a top or a bottom?' No, I am not a gay man; I do not identify with those categories and find it offensive when people conflate trans women with that. There is also a lack of understanding and boundaries here. Top usually means someone who penetrates. Even if a trans woman still has a penis, but is on hormones, things don't work that way anymore. 'Do you still have a penis?' I understand and respect if you have genital preferences, but this question usually means they just want sex AND they actually want me to have a penis because it's their fetish. Red flags. 🚩🚩🚩"
"'What kind of trans are you?' This one is kinda funny? It shows a fairly naive curiosity but a dating app isn't really the place for this kind of question. It would be nice if some people remember that Google is a good resource if you don't understand gender identity terms."—u/Cunfuzzles2000
22. "I was talking about my job, which I'm really proud of, and the guy was like, 'You probably make a good amount of money from that, huh?' I was like, 'Well, I'm not rich, but I'm doing fine.' He then said, 'I'm assuming, should things go well between us, you'd be willing to quit, right? I just wouldn't feel comfortable with a wife that makes more money than I do, it's not right.' Instant unmatch lol."
23. "'Damn, you're funnier than I thought." Or 'Oh, those look pretty expensive, did you get them as a gift?'"
24. "Once I was chatting with a guy and he seemed cute and nice. We were trying to plan a date, and he invited me over to watch a movie. I was going to decline and tell him I wasn’t comfortable going over to his place for a first date. But before I could do that, he messaged me saying, 'Actually, can I come over to your house? I don’t have a TV.'"
"I didn’t know how to respond to that one — and frankly, not having a TV was a turn-off for me as I could only imagine what the state of his apartment was like. Anyway, I spent a few hours thinking about how to reply but didn’t get the chance to before he tripled texted me saying, 'Wow, I’ve never been ghosted for not having a TV before.' I Instantly unmatched him when I read that." —u/Street-Holiday