Ten Findings On Being Bisexual In Today's American Society
Being a bisexual in todays American society can be a difficult experience. Bisexuality isn't black and white or as identifiable as being heterosexual or even homosexual is. These ten articles/studies examine the different experiences and challenges that bisexual individuals face on a daily basis.
1. Are you really bisexual or are you just doing it for attention?
Milaine Alarie and Stephanie Gaudet conducted a study where they interviewed university students to find out how they view bisexuality. Their findings showed that while some adolescents acknowledge bisexual feelings and actions in either themselves or those around them, others either ignore those feelings or treat them as just an act. For girls, bisexuality seems to be a means to get attention, to fit in, or even reinforce one's heterosexual status by showing off for the guys. For the guys however, it is a straight shot to being perceived as homosexual. Some students also feel that bisexuality is a temporary phase or associate it with promiscuity or infidelity therefore making it difficult for the ones that are truly bisexual to voice their feelings. Many students also expressed distaste when asked whether they would be okay with being in a relationship with a bisexual. This adds to the common view that bisexuality is used mainly for attention among women and real bisexuals are left out and stigmatized against due to the negative connotations. Pop culture may be adding to the idea that adolescents, especially females, use bisexuality as a means to get attention. In an article on the UK blog the f word Lawrence Allen describes how today's pop stars make bisexuality "sexy" and "cool", therefore making bisexuality more of a means to bring about attention rather than an actual sexual orientation that people have to live with.
Alarie, Milaine, and Stephanie Gaudet. "I Don't Know If She Is Bisexual or If She Just Wants to Get Attention: Analyzing the Various Mechanisms Through Which Emerging Adults Invisibilize Bisexuality." Journal of Bisexuality 13.2 (2013): 191-214.
http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/15299716.2013.780004#.U-For1b-tg0
2. Going off to college is a different experience if you like boys and girls.
This article highlights the issues that college students face with being bisexual. Many remain closeted for fear of hostility from their peers on campus and therefore don't fully explore and build their sexual identity. One big factor in the process of coming out as lesbian, gay, or bisexual for a college student is the residence halls that they live in. In a study by Evans and Broido (1999), findings showed that if the environment is supportive, LGB students will be more inclined to come out to others in the residence hall or their roommates. If the environment was unsupportive or hostile, students would get discouraged from coming out to others. These conclusions however don't pertain to only freshman. In one study, LGBT juniors perceived the campus environment as more hostile than did their LGBT freshman peers. This could be because freshman don't feel secure coming out during their freshman year therefore don't get a chance to experience the reaction that they may receive. There are many resources and support groups however that help students feel safe at their school one of which being the campuspride.org website. A leading national nonprofit organization, Campus Pride serves to create safer and more inclusive campus environments for LGBT students.
Longerbeam, Susan D., Karen Kurotsuchi Inkelas, Dawn R. Johnson, and Zakiya S. Lee. "Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual College Student Experiences: An Exploratory Study." Journal of College Student Development 48.2 (2007): 215-230.
3. Just because were close friends, doesn't mean I like you.
In her article "Bisexual Women's Friendship Experiences", Jacqueline S. Weinstock explores the different relationships among bisexual and lesbian or heterosexual women. One issue to highlight from the article is the potential conflict when one friend expresses attraction and the other friend does not reciprocate those feelings. Also, conflict may arise when both friends feel attraction to one another but only one feels comfortable expressing their feelings. This may be the problem for some bisexual women who are exploring their feelings and sexual identities among their close friendships. There is a boundary between friends and lovers that can create a problem as Weinstock states "...I am worried about the impact of patterns of privilege and oppression that may shape the experiences of friends who may differ in the extent of their attraction to each other and/or in the meaning they make of this attraction in terms of their self-defined sexual identities". These kinds of relationships, whether they be between two female friends or two male friends can be complicated especially when one friend feels sexual attraction and the other doesn't. Two characters on the ABC drama show "Nashville" demonstrate how this kind of relationship can complicate a friendship between two same sex individuals. In one scene, Will Lexington shows feelings for Gunnar Scott and as a result their friendship is never the same. Many same sex friends experience the same kind of fall out when dealing with their respective sexualities.
Weinstock, Jacqueline S. "Bisexual Women's Friendship Experiences." Journal of Bisexuality 6.3 (2006): 129-141.
http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J159v06n03_10#.U-FIxFb-tg1
4. Discrimination in the workplace still exists.
In their study of LGBT job seekers, Eddy S.W.Ng, Linda Schweitzer, and Sean T. Lyons found that LGBT individuals still face discrimination and prejudice in the workplace because of their sexual orientations. This discrimination is based upon "negative stereotypes, religious interpretations, and irrational fears of contracting AIDS". It is also found that many LGBT individuals therefore look to nonprofit career options because they may offer a "safe haven and protection from workplace discrimination". The authors also suggest that "anticipated discrimination" among LGBT individuals may influence their career choices, expectations, and preferred work environment. This kind of anticipated discrimination results in a loss of self-confidence as well as self-esteem, therefore keeping the individual from applying for certain jobs. One big step, however, in the fight to end workplace discrimination came when President Barack Obama signed an Executive Order on LGBT workplace discrimination. His speech on the matter can be seen here.
Ng, Eddy S.W., Linda Schweitzer, and Sean T. Lyons. "Anticipated Discrimination and a Career Choice in Nonprofit: A Study of Early Career Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered (LGBT) Job Seekers" Review of Public Personnel Administration (2012)
http://rop.sagepub.com.lp.hscl.ufl.edu/content/32/4/332.full.pdf+html
5. If a bisexual girl is in a relationship with a girl, apparently shaving legs is a thing of the past!
Research on sexual orientation and body image found that while some lesbians and bisexual women tend to be affected by society's stereotypical beauty norms, others show acceptance of appearances that deviate from those norms. If that's the case, do bisexual women identify more with homosexual beauty standards or heterosexual beauty standards? Jennifer Taub questioned seventy-seven bisexual women ranging from ages 18 to 47 to see whether coming out as a bisexual changed their beauty routines or expectations. She found that most women adopted a more "femme" identity when with a male partner and a more "butch" identity while with a female partner. A "femme" identity includes practices that go along with a typical female stereotype role such as shaving your legs, constantly doing your hair and always dressing your best. These practices were somewhat abandoned when with a female partner, such as one bisexual women stated " It was part of a coming out process as queer to stop shaving". Women who had a male partner felt more pressure to look sexy and fit the beauty standards that males may have. It is no secret that women do a lot to live up to society's beauty norms. There are many videos, blogs and articles dedicated to showing girls how to "beautify" themselves, and all fit the typical stereotypical idea of what a girl should look like. One of these blogs is Pinterest which has a whole page dedicated to "Unnecessary things girls do to look pretty".
Taub, Jennifer. "Bisexual Women and Beauty Norms" Journal of Lesbian Studies 3.4 (1999): 27-36.
http://www.tandfonline.com.lp.hscl.ufl.edu/doi/pdf/10.1300/J155v03n04_04
6. You can spot a lesbian from a mile away, but not a bisexual woman.
Usually the eye can tell someone's sexual orientation due to their physical appearance, however the case is different with bisexual women. The article "Visible Lesbians and Invisible Bisexuals: Appearance and Visual Identities Among Bisexual Women", suggests that "bisexual women are unable to communicate their sexuality through their clothing and appearance". These women can't choose to look bisexual, rather they can either sway toward a more heterosexual look or a more lesbian look. Since there isn't a bisexual appearance "norm", women are less likely to be able to express their identities through their appearance. These bisexual women, however, found this lack of bisexual appearance norms to be liberating and freeing because they didn't have any constraints. To some however, this lack of an appearance identity makes them feel like their sexuality lacks validation and can make them feel overlooked, isolated or stigmatized. Amber Heard is a bisexual actress currently in a relationship with a male actor. She dresses like any other actress and doesn't give off a more lesbian or a more straight vibe. If she wasn't a famous actress and she was just walking down the street, people most likely wouldn't be able to tell that she is a bisexual based on her appearance. She has stated in an interview that she does not want to be put in a certain category whether it be her acting or her sexuality.
Hayfield, Nikki, Victoria Clarke, Emma Halliwell, and Helen Malson. "Visible Lesbians and Invisible Bisexuals: Appearance and Visual Identities among Bisexual Women" Women's Studies International Forum 40 (2013): 172-82. http://www.sciencedirect.com.lp.hscl.ufl.edu/science/article/pii/S0277539513001362
7. Bisexual men dating a woman become very territorial.
The article "Bisexuals and the Sex Differences in Jealousy Hypothesis" studies jealousy toward infidelity in bisexual individuals. Participants completed an online survey and the results showed that a higher percentage of bisexual men dating women reported being bothered by the sexual infidelity than bisexual men dating men, bisexual women dating women, and bisexual women dating men. According to the sex difference in jealousy theory, this finding makes sense because bisexual men dating women were the only group concerned with paternal uncertainty. Another reason could be because that is what society expects of them. Men are supposed to get upset when their woman cheats on them so no matter what the sexual orientation of the man, the stereotype still exists. Psychiatrist Dr. Gail Saltz came on the Today Show to explain why individuals feel jealous and the difference in jealousy between men and women.
Scherer, Cory R., Emily G. Akers, and Krysta L. Kolbe. "Bisexuals and the Sex Differences in Jealousy Hypothesis" Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 30.8 (2013): 1064-1071.
http://spr.sagepub.com.lp.hscl.ufl.edu/content/30/8/1064.full.pdf+html
8. Men use bisexuality as a bridge to homosexuality.
In her article "The Bisexual Man" Jacqueline White describes a study done by Allen Rosenthal which sought to see whether men can actually be attracted to both men and women. The study consisted of 35 bisexual subjects to see if they would get aroused by videos of two women engaging in sexual activity and two men engaging in sexual activity. The men "demonstrated bisexual patterns of both subjective and genital arousal" therefore showing that men can be equally aroused by both sexes. The continued doubt whether bisexuality exists, however, may complicate the coming out process for your male teens. Savin Williams says "For me, its extraordinarily important to affirm bisexuality in young people...it exists". Some young teens, however, may be using bisexuality as a transition period as Savin also states "Even if the kid is using bisexuality as a transition, he may not know that". Bisexuality in men can be a difficult idea to understand, considering most men are thought already to be promiscuous, bisexuality offers another window for criticism in a man. A great article on CNN tells the story of a bisexual male and his wife of 18 years, and gives a good insight into a bisexual male's mind, and how they lead regular monogamous lives just like anyone else.
White, Jacqueline. "The Bisexual Man" Contemporary Sexuality 46.5 (2012)
http://search.proquest.com.lp.hscl.ufl.edu/docview/1024807972?pq-origsite=summon
9. Bisexual equals gay or lesbian, minimal connection with straight people.
In the article "Gay, Straight, or Somewhere in Between: Accuracy and Bias in the Perception of Bisexual Faces" a study shows that individuals categorize people into group memberships automatically, including sexual orientation. The first study found that gay and straight men were easily identified out of a group of pictures, but bisexual men were identified at chance levels. Furthermore, the second study found that bisexual men were perceived to be different from straight men, however there were no differences between the ratings of gay and bisexual men. This shows that the bisexual men were more likely to be mis-categorized as gay rather than straight. The same thing happened when subjects were asked to look at female pictures. The bisexual women were more likely identified as lesbian rather than straight or bisexual. Many individuals get mistaken for either gay or lesbian or even straight. On the show America's Got Talent, two salsa dancers recently auditioned and they were both male. Automatically the judges asked if they are a couple and as it turns out one of them was straight, and the other was gay, but presumably both of them were assumed to be gay by the masses. In this case, the situation was reversed where a straight individual was assumed gay, but it shows the main point that people categorize individuals automatically into either gay or straight.
Ding, Jonathan Y.C., and Nicholas O. Rule. "Gay, Straight, or Somewhere in Between: Accuracy and Bias in the Perception of Bisexual Faces." Journal of Nonverbal Behaviour (2012)
10. Getting married is a 50/50 chance.
In their article "Unmarried Bisexuals" Dorian Solot and Marshall Miller examine the unique role that marriage plays in the bisexual community. Because of the laws today, some bisexuals can legally marry their partners while others still cannot. Through their interviews with 85 people in relationships, 27 of which identified as bisexual, Solot and Miller found that bisexual individuals refuse to get married to their opposite sex partner as not to take advantage of a heterosexual privilege. Some bisexual couples do get married however, but Solot and Miller state that these couples or individuals should stay visible as bisexuals, meaning they shouldn't bury their bisexual orientation away just because they're married to someone of the opposite sex. They also stress to "fight for all relationships and families to be treated equally in your workplace". There are many benefits available for unmarried couples of all sexual orientations in the workplace, and it's important to make sure that the options continue to grow. Another great article, "Bisexuality and Marriage" advocates the freedom for everyone to be able to get married. B.J. Epstein argues that bisexuality is essential to the marriage debate and that "If people can be attracted to others as more than just a particular set of genitals - and that's clearly the case - then that's a strong argument for allowing everyone the freedom to marry."
Solot, Dorian, and Marshall Miller. "Unmarried Bisexuals" Journal of Bisexuality 1.4 (2001): 81-90
http://www.tandfonline.com.lp.hscl.ufl.edu/doi/pdf/10.1300/J159v01n04_08
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